Recently we sent this letter to many family and friends to tell about our adoption experience. We hope that where we are in our journey can be something that motivates you to help an orphan or a widow in your world in some way today.
Hello Dear Family and Friends,
Our God is a great and mighty God, and we praise His Name! It is only because of His Grace, His Compassion, and His Divine Plan that we can write to you to announce our happy news that we have a daughter waiting for us in China! Yes, our lives have taken a direction we could not have planned over the past couple years and here briefly is our story:
Jeremiah 29:11 –“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Adoption was something we joked about when we found out our second son, Trent, was in fact a boy. Becky was “done” having kids, but Dan felt God’s plan for him was to be a daddy to a daughter, so he would tease Becky that they would just have to adopt. Well, exactly two years later, we welcomed a little unexpected blessing into our family – Toby. Toby was a hard pregnancy and delivery for Becky – physically, emotionally, and mentally, but God did an amazing work in her heart. Becky’s vision of her plans for family became a vision of God’s plans for family, and when Toby turned one, she brought up adoption to Dan – seriously, this time.
James 1:27 – Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. After discussion and prayer, we started researching international adoption agencies and their programs. While Becky looked through information about several countries, Dan steadily maintained that our daughter was in China. We watched countless videos from several agencies, many nights after our 3 boys were in bed, crying tears of sadness and despair for so many children without families, but hopeful and excited for what God was beginning in our lives. We knew God had called us to adopt. So, in November of 2006, we began paperwork with America World Adoption Association in their China adoption program.
After months of paperwork, fees and governmental red tape, we sent our completed dossier to China in May of 2007, and received a log-in date at the China Center of Adoption Affairs of May 29, 2007. Now the real wait began. Although girls are regularly abandoned at various ages in China because of the one-child policy and the strong cultural norm of wanting only boys, the wait time for a healthy referral of a little girl has steadily been climbing since 2005. Currently, the wait time from log-in date to referral date is 31 months, and that timeframe continues to steadily increase. There are various schools of thought as to why this is the case, but in reality, no one knows but China.
A few months into our wait, we decided to put our names on the Special Needs list with our agency, meaning we would consider accepting a referral for a child with medical or emotional needs. We completed a detailed questionnaire regarding what kinds of needs we would consider; this was very awkward for us, since each “category” represented actual children needing families! However, we felt that through prayer and discernment, God was having us follow the plan He had laid out for us.
Psalm 68:5-6 – A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing…” Well, we unexpectedly got a call on August 16th – actually, several calls, as we were both largely unavailable by phone that day, with news that our agency had a child’s file for us to review. We nervously waited for the email they were sending…and as we opened it, we met our daughter, Wu Hua, born December 11, 2005. Her birthday is an educated guess, because she was abandoned in a public place approximately 2 days after she was born. I cannot express to you in words what it feels like to look at the face of a little child from the other side of the world and think…”this is the child God has chosen for our family.” It is unbelievable. Wu Hua is currently a ward of the Social Welfare Institute of Wuzhou City, China, in the province of Guangxi.
So, we accepted the referral hours later, after consulting a medical doctor as is recommended by our agency to discuss her medical condition. Wu Hua has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate; she is otherwise healthy. We are now awaiting final approval from China and then will travel to China for 12 days to get her in early 2009. Her name will be Bethany, and we will incorporate her Chinese name into her middle name once we know the translation of it. We chose Bethany early on in this process, because as Jesus found in the town of Bethany a place where he could rest and be among “family,” we hope that in us Bethany can find rest for her soul in our family.
Our adoption process has been one of faith, not knowing the timing or how the finances would work. The whole process will cost a total of about $30,000.00, with medical bills and potentially speech therapy once Bethany gets here. We have already paid out close to $11,000.00 of our savings, but we have a long way to go with not much left. We are confident that as we cover this in prayer that finances will be taken care of – whether through grants, loans, or donations. We are asking that you prayerfully consider whether you are to play a part in God’s plan for our family, and in the life of this precious little girl through donating to our adoption fund. Although it is awkward for us to request donations from family and friends, we are confident God is asking us to humble ourselves by asking for your prayers and financial assistance.
Our church, Berean Baptist, has a foundation set up to disperse grant monies to families who are adopting. If you prefer to give anonymously, you can fill out the enclosed two documents and mail in your donation to Berean, and while they legally cannot guarantee the money will go specifically to us, in all previous circumstances the money donated has gone to the person “recommended” for a grant. Berean will supply you with a receipt for your donation for tax purposes. However, we can accept donations directly for those who like to avoid paperwork. J
Please don’t be offended by our request or feel obligated to give. Your prayers are just as important to us in this process as your dollars. We hope that you will follow along with us on the remainder of our journey on our blog:
www.hayfamily6.blogspot.com, especially during our trip to China for the adoption finalization. We do not yet have our dates of travel, but it is estimated that we will go to China to get Bethany sometime between January and March of 2009.
As Christians, we are all adopted into the God’s family, so adoption is close to God’s heart. What a privilege it is for us to have it be a part of our hearts as well. God Bless!
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