Well, Dan has finally convinced me to write on here. It's difficult to do, because I have to live in the reality of "waiting" to type this blog. Normally, I just go through the routine of each day, thinking about Bethany, but not really dwelling on the fact that we are waiting...and that she is waiting - although she doesn't know it. It's only a few months until we go to China and get her...not long if you consider she has been waiting for almost 3 years now. But, each day we miss something...one more hug, one more smile, one more giggle. When I get to thinking about it that way, I get frustrated. WHY does it take so long for China to get these kids "paper-ready" and get them into their forever home? Why must these kids go to bed, night after night without knowing a mommy or a daddy? I realize that I am only just now awaking to this reality that affects so many kids around the world. God created the family, and I know it tears at his heart so much more than mine that these kids don't know FAMILY. We're coming Bethany...just as soon as we can.
I often think about Bethany's possible reaction to us when she meets us for the first time, and then realizes she is coming with us. How traumatic for her it will be!! Can you imagine being ripped from everything you know as a 3 year old? New faces, new language, new foods, new everything! At that age, you are pretty aware of your routine and are pretty comfortable with your life. Gosh, I pray we can get her through it...it will be only God's doing, because I know I am not going to know what to do!
Well, I'm a bit more of a worrier than Dan, as you can tell by my post... sorry about that. :)
Becky
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Waiting for Bethany
We are waiting for Bethany. She is unawaringly waiting for us. We hope that she continues to be well taken care of and as we see other cute, dark haired, adopted girls at our church we are excited for what is to come. We are told that we could get the call any day and all the way up to 6 months from now that we are finalized and ready to travel. Until then we make preparation to get her room and the family ready for her arrival. The boys are doing well, although we have our moments of challenge as all families do. As we prepare for big changes at the Hay household in the coming months we want to share with you some of the many videos that give you an idea of how our appearance as a family will change. This link will also give you a good idea of what our journey to China to bring our Bethany home will look like as well.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv4enMmBAvk
Send us a question, we are interested in what you might wonder about adoption and our family.
Dan & the family
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv4enMmBAvk
Send us a question, we are interested in what you might wonder about adoption and our family.
Dan & the family
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Letter to friends
Recently we sent this letter to many family and friends to tell about our adoption experience. We hope that where we are in our journey can be something that motivates you to help an orphan or a widow in your world in some way today.
Hello Dear Family and Friends,
Our God is a great and mighty God, and we praise His Name! It is only because of His Grace, His Compassion, and His Divine Plan that we can write to you to announce our happy news that we have a daughter waiting for us in China! Yes, our lives have taken a direction we could not have planned over the past couple years and here briefly is our story:
Jeremiah 29:11 –“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Adoption was something we joked about when we found out our second son, Trent, was in fact a boy. Becky was “done” having kids, but Dan felt God’s plan for him was to be a daddy to a daughter, so he would tease Becky that they would just have to adopt. Well, exactly two years later, we welcomed a little unexpected blessing into our family – Toby. Toby was a hard pregnancy and delivery for Becky – physically, emotionally, and mentally, but God did an amazing work in her heart. Becky’s vision of her plans for family became a vision of God’s plans for family, and when Toby turned one, she brought up adoption to Dan – seriously, this time.
James 1:27 – Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. After discussion and prayer, we started researching international adoption agencies and their programs. While Becky looked through information about several countries, Dan steadily maintained that our daughter was in China. We watched countless videos from several agencies, many nights after our 3 boys were in bed, crying tears of sadness and despair for so many children without families, but hopeful and excited for what God was beginning in our lives. We knew God had called us to adopt. So, in November of 2006, we began paperwork with America World Adoption Association in their China adoption program.
After months of paperwork, fees and governmental red tape, we sent our completed dossier to China in May of 2007, and received a log-in date at the China Center of Adoption Affairs of May 29, 2007. Now the real wait began. Although girls are regularly abandoned at various ages in China because of the one-child policy and the strong cultural norm of wanting only boys, the wait time for a healthy referral of a little girl has steadily been climbing since 2005. Currently, the wait time from log-in date to referral date is 31 months, and that timeframe continues to steadily increase. There are various schools of thought as to why this is the case, but in reality, no one knows but China.
A few months into our wait, we decided to put our names on the Special Needs list with our agency, meaning we would consider accepting a referral for a child with medical or emotional needs. We completed a detailed questionnaire regarding what kinds of needs we would consider; this was very awkward for us, since each “category” represented actual children needing families! However, we felt that through prayer and discernment, God was having us follow the plan He had laid out for us.
Psalm 68:5-6 – A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing…” Well, we unexpectedly got a call on August 16th – actually, several calls, as we were both largely unavailable by phone that day, with news that our agency had a child’s file for us to review. We nervously waited for the email they were sending…and as we opened it, we met our daughter, Wu Hua, born December 11, 2005. Her birthday is an educated guess, because she was abandoned in a public place approximately 2 days after she was born. I cannot express to you in words what it feels like to look at the face of a little child from the other side of the world and think…”this is the child God has chosen for our family.” It is unbelievable. Wu Hua is currently a ward of the Social Welfare Institute of Wuzhou City, China, in the province of Guangxi.
So, we accepted the referral hours later, after consulting a medical doctor as is recommended by our agency to discuss her medical condition. Wu Hua has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate; she is otherwise healthy. We are now awaiting final approval from China and then will travel to China for 12 days to get her in early 2009. Her name will be Bethany, and we will incorporate her Chinese name into her middle name once we know the translation of it. We chose Bethany early on in this process, because as Jesus found in the town of Bethany a place where he could rest and be among “family,” we hope that in us Bethany can find rest for her soul in our family.
Our adoption process has been one of faith, not knowing the timing or how the finances would work. The whole process will cost a total of about $30,000.00, with medical bills and potentially speech therapy once Bethany gets here. We have already paid out close to $11,000.00 of our savings, but we have a long way to go with not much left. We are confident that as we cover this in prayer that finances will be taken care of – whether through grants, loans, or donations. We are asking that you prayerfully consider whether you are to play a part in God’s plan for our family, and in the life of this precious little girl through donating to our adoption fund. Although it is awkward for us to request donations from family and friends, we are confident God is asking us to humble ourselves by asking for your prayers and financial assistance.
Our church, Berean Baptist, has a foundation set up to disperse grant monies to families who are adopting. If you prefer to give anonymously, you can fill out the enclosed two documents and mail in your donation to Berean, and while they legally cannot guarantee the money will go specifically to us, in all previous circumstances the money donated has gone to the person “recommended” for a grant. Berean will supply you with a receipt for your donation for tax purposes. However, we can accept donations directly for those who like to avoid paperwork. J
Please don’t be offended by our request or feel obligated to give. Your prayers are just as important to us in this process as your dollars. We hope that you will follow along with us on the remainder of our journey on our blog: www.hayfamily6.blogspot.com, especially during our trip to China for the adoption finalization. We do not yet have our dates of travel, but it is estimated that we will go to China to get Bethany sometime between January and March of 2009.
As Christians, we are all adopted into the God’s family, so adoption is close to God’s heart. What a privilege it is for us to have it be a part of our hearts as well. God Bless!
Hello Dear Family and Friends,
Our God is a great and mighty God, and we praise His Name! It is only because of His Grace, His Compassion, and His Divine Plan that we can write to you to announce our happy news that we have a daughter waiting for us in China! Yes, our lives have taken a direction we could not have planned over the past couple years and here briefly is our story:
Jeremiah 29:11 –“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Adoption was something we joked about when we found out our second son, Trent, was in fact a boy. Becky was “done” having kids, but Dan felt God’s plan for him was to be a daddy to a daughter, so he would tease Becky that they would just have to adopt. Well, exactly two years later, we welcomed a little unexpected blessing into our family – Toby. Toby was a hard pregnancy and delivery for Becky – physically, emotionally, and mentally, but God did an amazing work in her heart. Becky’s vision of her plans for family became a vision of God’s plans for family, and when Toby turned one, she brought up adoption to Dan – seriously, this time.
James 1:27 – Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. After discussion and prayer, we started researching international adoption agencies and their programs. While Becky looked through information about several countries, Dan steadily maintained that our daughter was in China. We watched countless videos from several agencies, many nights after our 3 boys were in bed, crying tears of sadness and despair for so many children without families, but hopeful and excited for what God was beginning in our lives. We knew God had called us to adopt. So, in November of 2006, we began paperwork with America World Adoption Association in their China adoption program.
After months of paperwork, fees and governmental red tape, we sent our completed dossier to China in May of 2007, and received a log-in date at the China Center of Adoption Affairs of May 29, 2007. Now the real wait began. Although girls are regularly abandoned at various ages in China because of the one-child policy and the strong cultural norm of wanting only boys, the wait time for a healthy referral of a little girl has steadily been climbing since 2005. Currently, the wait time from log-in date to referral date is 31 months, and that timeframe continues to steadily increase. There are various schools of thought as to why this is the case, but in reality, no one knows but China.
A few months into our wait, we decided to put our names on the Special Needs list with our agency, meaning we would consider accepting a referral for a child with medical or emotional needs. We completed a detailed questionnaire regarding what kinds of needs we would consider; this was very awkward for us, since each “category” represented actual children needing families! However, we felt that through prayer and discernment, God was having us follow the plan He had laid out for us.
Psalm 68:5-6 – A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing…” Well, we unexpectedly got a call on August 16th – actually, several calls, as we were both largely unavailable by phone that day, with news that our agency had a child’s file for us to review. We nervously waited for the email they were sending…and as we opened it, we met our daughter, Wu Hua, born December 11, 2005. Her birthday is an educated guess, because she was abandoned in a public place approximately 2 days after she was born. I cannot express to you in words what it feels like to look at the face of a little child from the other side of the world and think…”this is the child God has chosen for our family.” It is unbelievable. Wu Hua is currently a ward of the Social Welfare Institute of Wuzhou City, China, in the province of Guangxi.
So, we accepted the referral hours later, after consulting a medical doctor as is recommended by our agency to discuss her medical condition. Wu Hua has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate; she is otherwise healthy. We are now awaiting final approval from China and then will travel to China for 12 days to get her in early 2009. Her name will be Bethany, and we will incorporate her Chinese name into her middle name once we know the translation of it. We chose Bethany early on in this process, because as Jesus found in the town of Bethany a place where he could rest and be among “family,” we hope that in us Bethany can find rest for her soul in our family.
Our adoption process has been one of faith, not knowing the timing or how the finances would work. The whole process will cost a total of about $30,000.00, with medical bills and potentially speech therapy once Bethany gets here. We have already paid out close to $11,000.00 of our savings, but we have a long way to go with not much left. We are confident that as we cover this in prayer that finances will be taken care of – whether through grants, loans, or donations. We are asking that you prayerfully consider whether you are to play a part in God’s plan for our family, and in the life of this precious little girl through donating to our adoption fund. Although it is awkward for us to request donations from family and friends, we are confident God is asking us to humble ourselves by asking for your prayers and financial assistance.
Our church, Berean Baptist, has a foundation set up to disperse grant monies to families who are adopting. If you prefer to give anonymously, you can fill out the enclosed two documents and mail in your donation to Berean, and while they legally cannot guarantee the money will go specifically to us, in all previous circumstances the money donated has gone to the person “recommended” for a grant. Berean will supply you with a receipt for your donation for tax purposes. However, we can accept donations directly for those who like to avoid paperwork. J
Please don’t be offended by our request or feel obligated to give. Your prayers are just as important to us in this process as your dollars. We hope that you will follow along with us on the remainder of our journey on our blog: www.hayfamily6.blogspot.com, especially during our trip to China for the adoption finalization. We do not yet have our dates of travel, but it is estimated that we will go to China to get Bethany sometime between January and March of 2009.
As Christians, we are all adopted into the God’s family, so adoption is close to God’s heart. What a privilege it is for us to have it be a part of our hearts as well. God Bless!
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