Bethany's Surgery Update

Early this morning we went to Children's hospital in Minneapolis for Bethany's surgery. The procedure took about 2 1/2 hours and was successful in addressing multiple issues. First the surgeon installed tubes in her ears releasing large amounts of fluid from her ears. This has already dramatically improved her hearing. The second piece was to install a soft palate in her mouth. This took most of the time as the gap was especially large and the doctor forms the palate out of existing material from within her mouth and nose. He equated the feeling in the mouth/nose to that of a skinned knee feeling as she recovers... OUCH! Thankfully she has much in the way of drugs to help through the most difficult healing. The final piece was to remove the pits in her lower lip. They proved to be much deep and more numerous than the doctor expected so that took a good amount of time as well. The rest of the day was spent sleeping restlessly as nurses and aides cycled through the room to administer more medication and check vitals. She is doing as well as can be expected. Probably the most frustrating part for Bethany right now is the arm "no-nos". They keep her elbows straight so that she cannot get her hands into her mouth. When she did come to consciousness I would ask her if she wanted to watch tv, have daddy read a book, have Grandpa sing a song ;), drink or go potty? The only yes we got was to go potty.

We are thankful that she is doing well. We are glad that Grandma and Grandpa Hay were able to come to support us and Rox and Tim were able to spend time with the boys as we have been at the hospital. The doctor says tomorrow may be more difficult as the drug levels diminish and she becomes more active. I'm back home with the boys and Becky stayed the night at the hospital. It is likely that she will be there through Sunday but it is possible that she could be released tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers and keep them coming. Pray that Bethany will know that we will always be there for her and will love her through this. Pray for Becky that she gets some rest and that she can muster patience through her fatigue.

Dan and Becky

A few pictures today

Hey all,

Just a few pictures of what is going on in our world lately.

Why am I looking at a picture of Dan in red shorts???? I had to post this to appease some of our friends that we met in China. This one is called Dan and the lucky reds... Darryl and Sharon, our travel partners and now friends were with us in the Chinese Wal-Mart. While we were there we noticed a lot of red underwear for sale. Apparently red under-garments are HOT during the Chinese New Year and thus there was quite a market for them. Since I pointed them out Darryl dubbed me Dan, "Lucky Red" Hay. I vowed to live up to my name and when I saw these gym shorts I just couldn't resist. ENJOY! Darryl, this one's for you brother!

The kids holding their PEZ dispensers from the Grimaldi's. They sent them to us along with some other gifts. So nice and what kid doesn't like spending 10 minutes loading those little candies to voraciously consume them from the dispenser in less than a minute?

Matthew's birthday party. Don't worry, everyone had a good time, REALLY! Grandpa decorated the cake in STAR WARS style.

Our good friend Cheri holding Bethany.

Bethany all gussied up to go to a shower that was held in her honor at our church. We are blessed to have so many folks that care for her and our family.

Matthew and Bethany hanging out on Matthew's sick day. He's been better and will finally get to go back to school tomorrow!

We were very excited to see Uncle Jim. The kids introduced him to the Wii!!

Toby and Uncle Jim box each other. (notice Trent in the background)

Toby takes out his uncle with a K.O.!!!!

Ho Gowji! (Cantonese for good dog)-Sunrise in Minnesota

We are still here but we are getting pulled into the busyness of life in Minnesota and neglecting our blogging responsibilities. Our friend Darryl has effectively chided us for not staying on top of our posts. Becky and I were able to pull away for a few hours for our Valentine's celebration and just decided that blogging wasn't an effective way to be romantic. Bethany has made a dramatic improvement in her adjustment to Chewie... She no longer is scanning the room to ensure that she has a location of the dog. She can walk from room to room with no worries about his proximity and she has even taken on the responsibility of feeding him every morning. We had come to think that she wanted to be picked up because of the dog but it turns out that she just likes to be carried everywhere! It is an immense blessing to be past the "I am freaked out by the dog phase" because now we can gain a clearer understanding of how well she is adjusting. It is still a bit challenging to get past the language barrier and speech impediment caused by her cleft palate. We believe that Bethany is saying much more than we realize in English but because of her almost entirely missing palate we don't understand much. This is consistent with what her caretakers in China told us. Often, they could not understand her Cantonese either. None the less we are able to communicate pretty well. She talks a lot! I can't wait to understand more of it!











Matthew, our oldest just celebrated his 9th birthday. We are looking forward to a very small gathering of one of his friends and family for a party tomorrow. Matthew has coined it his "un-birthday" party because we have limited the party from his original hope. His basketball team has been a great blessing to him and the family as we've experienced alot of fun at his games this season. The team placed third overall in the final playoffs. We are thankful that he has the interest and the ability to play. His coach gave him the "most improved" player honorable mention at the end of the playoff. I know I've enjoyed getting into the sport as much or more as him. For those that know me that is a feat in itself. He has been a bit under the weather tonight so pray that he feels better tomorrow.




Trent continues to enjoy kindergarten and is also looking forward to his upcoming birthday. We are in the birthday season here at our house. He received special honors as he saved the day in the van as mom was driving. Bethany had a slight problem with something coming out of her nose and mom could not help (driving). She asked Trent to help with a Kleenex and he boldy went where most 5 (almost 6) year olds would never go! He wiped the offensive matter off of her face! He received an opportunity to take a chance in the privilege jar. This is a reward that can only be achieved for a random act of kindness. You cannot get it for what could appear as "sucking up" is the bottom line I guess. He picked a slip of paper that said, "movie night-you pick". This is the same kid who squishes spiders with his fingers when he sees them...








And finally an update on our Toby. He is having a bit of a rough time. We have to guess that is has a lot to do with the new competition in the house to be the baby in the family. He has been acting out quite a bit...bothering his sister (especially in the car), hitting his brothers and often not doing what mom/dad ask. It's actually quite amazing that Bethany and he can turn anything into a competition. We were building a Lego block tower the other day and they were jockeying to be the fastest to hand me a block. It was like a muscle off at a body building contest. He is our laugher. Not that the others don't laugh but he laughs when he's nervous or in trouble. That makes it awkward and frustrating at times to discipline. Frankly it makes it fun sometimes. I know that I can easily make him laugh to help him to stop being angry about something.






Praise God for the blessing of our children and what we learn through our experiences with them. Can you believe how our family has grown! I would have never imagined about 10 years ago that I would have 3 sons and a daughter from China! Thank God that he has taught me to never say never (any more).







We are a bit sad as the child of friend of ours has gone home to be with the Lord. Ian Henderson passed from this world two nights ago. He's a great kid. Please keep his parents, family and friends in your prayers as this is difficult time and a celebration of a life well lived in just a few short years. He is safe now with his eternal Father. Read more at http://www.hendersonhome.net/.

Thanks for checking in with us. Dan

Bethany's birthday is this week.

This week Bethany turns three on this coming Thursday, December 11. This comes with gladness and sadness as we wait for word on when we travel. We are planning to have a celebration as a family. This keeps the boys excited about their sister's arrival as well.

We did finally receive communication from our agency on Thursday providing instruction on how to file for our visas. So that provides a little encouragement that at least we are able to progress forward ever so slightly. We also heard but haven't confirmed that costs may be going up after January 1st so we hope that we are able to move forward before then. This certainly costs enough already! Please pray for us for patience and courage as we prepare for our journey. It would be great to hear from you as well. Drop us a note.

Letter to Bethany:
Bethany,

We wonder, wait, hope and pray for you. We loved you before we even met you. We knew that God had chosen you just as he chose your brothers to be a special part of our family. We can't wait to finally meet you and bring you home.

Love,

Mom, Dad, Matthew, Trent and Toby

Why are we blogging? Why are we adopting?

We want to share our journey to adopting Bethany and many other details along the way. Hopefully, after this chapter has moved past we will be able to share another exciting way in which God has changed our lives. We continue to be amazed every day at how He has transformed the way that we think about and view the world. It wasn't long ago that we were arguing over when to start having kids and then how many to have. About two years ago Becky and I somehow got onto the subject of adoption and weren't sure why but wanted to learn more. Before you know it we were ordering information packets from adoption agencies and late at night after the kids were in bed sat up and watched the informational videos. There was a particular video that shared one family's experiences throughout their adoption of a Chinese orphan. By the end of the DVD we were both in tears. Unexplainable and uncontrollable tears. I'm embarassed sharing that here but have to admit that I was moved to do something that I'd never imagined doing until that moment. All of the stuff before then was just talk. We both knew at that moment that this is something we were going to do. We didn't know how much it would cost, what circumstances we would face from moving forward but knew that this was what we were supposed to do. I've never been more certain of something God has called me to do in my life. The next post will include our next steps in the process and how the rest of the family responded to the idea. See you then!
--Dan