Hay Family Happenings

Friends and Birthday Season Continues

2010-04-11T19:08:00.005-05:00

Trent is very happy to have gotten his Favre jersey! He celebrated 7 in March. He is our most content child and is gifted in the ability to be in his own world on his own schedule among other things...

Bethany playing with her friend
Madison who is also from China!!!
They setup their own private game corner that I interrupted briefly for
this pic.

You may be wondering why you're looking at shoes. This is an indication of one of Bethany's giftings. She loves to organize things! Constantly she asks, can I help you mommy/daddy? Pretty cute!

The wild bunch at Trent's birthday party! We went to the new movie, How to Train Your Dragon. All had fun!

As part of Trent's movie theater birthday party the kids were able to see the behind the scenes areas of the movie theater. They had this old promo of the Simpsons so we took a pic!

Fully Recovered and Waiting!

2010-03-16T15:21:00.014-05:00

Bethany's surgery went very well. She seems to be fully recovered. Thank you all for your prayers. It was actually pretty amazing that after the first evening she has been back to new normal. She made one comment earlier this week that she wanted the "skin" to be gone from her mouth. If you think about it, having a roof in her mouth is not normal for her. Even though we've explained the what the doctor did we don't think she fully grasps it all. She's very hungry all the time and since she doesn't seem to have any idea of what full is we've had to help her with that. Everyone else is doing well. Toby is increasingly a comedian. We really get into trouble with that one since he often makes us laugh when he's getting into trouble! For those that don't have kids, it's not good to laugh when you're trying to discipline your children...

Bethany's favorite food while on her liquid diet. It's a milk based puree of a hot dog and green beans! mmmmmm!!!! I call it soilent green. I've included a photo of this quality green paste for your reference!

You might be wondering about the picture of Becky wearing her superhero costume. She put it together for her MOPS speaking engagements. She is definitely SUPER!

I'm still on the hunt for work. I've had some good activity last week that hopefully moves forward soon. Until then we wait on the Lord. Keep prayin' please!

and finally, we didn't mention Matthew's baskeball season that ended on Valentine's day. His team finished third and had a great season. Matthew made his first basket during a game at the tournament. We are excited about how much he's improved.

That's our update for now. Keep in touch and send us a note on what's up with you!

Ni Hao, Surgery!

2010-03-09T22:33:00.006-06:00

hello all!

A quick update. Tomorrow Dan has an interview back at Best Buy in the morning and Bethany has surgery to remove her tongue flap mid-day. We appreciate your prayers for both events.

Today we had a pre-op physical for Bethany that found her in great health and that she has actually gained a pound since her last Dr visit shortly before the last surgery. So much for our concerns about her losing weight with her mouth wired shut! She apparently thrives on a liquid diet. I guess that goes without saying since her favorite meal is what I've coined "soilent green". A nice pasty green blend of 1 hot dog and about 3/4 c. of green beans. Mmmmmm!

I'm looking forward to discussing opportunities back at Best Buy. Hopefully something pops soon as I'd hoped to be back to work by now. I continue to rest in Jeremiah 29:11 that God is in control and has a plan that will be revealed to me in His time, not mine.

Toby focusing...

Celebrating "gotcha day" at Culvers...

Bethany slept the entire night last night!

2010-02-18T13:14:00.004-06:00

Doing well here. She's adapting fairly well to the wired jaw situation. Admittedly there is a significant amount of "whinese" being vocalized about many other things this morning however. Here are some more of Bethany's 4 yr pics. (mouth fully operational-no wires)

Have a great day!

And we're home!

2010-02-17T22:11:00.002-06:00

Hi all,

Well, after getting up every hour with Bethany in the hospital last night (thanks to her small bladder and the continuous IV fluids), the doctor came in this morning at 6:30 a.m. and gave her some motivation: eat well today and you can go home! That's all she needed to hear, folks. She ate all day long - soupy malt-o-meal, cream of chicken soup, ice cream, pudding and apple juice! She also took oral pain meds instead of the morphine through IV...so, once the doctor finally got back around to see us (about 6 pm tonight), he gave us the all clear to head home. YAY! That made everyone happy!

It is amazing what Bethany can do despite her circumstances! She can talk still, and we can understand her almost as well as before the surgery! She was yelling "I'm the map" with the TV show Dora today. It was funny. She is drinking well and is managing quite well with slurping her runny food choices. She is proving once again how determined as resilient she is!

Dan came to the hospital this morning at just after 9 so I could head home for a shower and a quick lunch with Toby before taking him to preschool; however, Toby told me on the way home from the hospital that he didn't feel good, and as I looked at him, I noticed his "glassy eyes" look - so I knew he wasn't going to school. So I postponed my trip back to the hospital and instead took him to the doctor and then picked up his prescription before heading home to find someone to take care of him. The hospital wasn't too happy about siblings being around in the first place, and SICK siblings were even worse. Thankfully, our wonderful friends Tim and Roxy were able to come stay with him (and Matthew and Trent once they were home from school) until we made it home about 8 pm tonight. Never a dull moment here everyone. ;)

The surgeon actually said Bethany can return to preschool whenever we felt she was ready - so we're going to see how she is through the weekend and then decide what's best with her teacher early next week. I don't want to put her in a situation where she is frustrated by her limitations with speech and diet, but she LOVES going to preschool too. One day at a time.

That's it for tonight. Thanks for checking in and your continued prayers. Right now I would ask that you continue to pray for pain and for her to stay calm and not do anything to impede the healing process. She tends to get a little wild with her brothers, and she loves sticking things in her mouth and nose, which has caused quite a bloody mess in recent months. I had a serious talk with her tonight about leaving her mouth and nose alone, so hopefully she's gotten the message.

Blessings to you!
Becky

Bethany's surgery Update

2010-02-16T21:41:00.002-06:00

Bethany's surgery went well. The doctor was able to complete the procedure successfully. She slept most of the day and is now a bit grouchy as she has been awake more. Turns out when you have things torn up in your mouth and wake up with your mouth wired shut you get irratible. Go Figure! Please keep her in your prayers as the coming days will likely be challenging for her. Give Becky and I patience and lots of extra love for her as we work through this with her together!

Here is a pic at the zoo yesterday with Trent.
Bethany a few weeks ago... Cute eh?

Happy Chinese New Year! (yesterday)

2010-02-15T17:36:00.007-06:00

Happy Chinese New Year!

<--Bethany chose to go to Culvers in January to celebrate "Gotcha Day"!! Its already been a year!

It has been quite awhile since we've updated and we are going to make a better effort of doing so. We are preparing for surgery for Bethany tomorrow. Please pray for her and our family this week. She is having the first of 2 surgeries within a 3 week period. The first will be to sew her tongue to the roof of her mouth and then wire her mouth shut for 3 weeks. She will not be able to talk and we are concerned about her nutritional and hydration needs. Certainly the doctor and his team will have some advice for us but this is all new for us!! We have tried our best to explain to her what is going to happen, but it is so much for a 4 year old to understand. Please pray for the emotional and physical comfort for her in the next few days and weeks and that Mom and Dad will know how to reassure and encourage her during this difficult time. We will be updating her progress here.

<--Bethany's 4th Birthday, Dec 11!

In the mean time, here are some more recent photos of the family...

<--Matthew's 10 birthday party! Notice the sweet Lego cakes...

The kids like playing the "sandwich" game. Check this high stack out!-->

Summer Part II and into Fall Y'all

2009-10-20T07:29:00.007-05:00

Strawberry-Rhubarb pie at my Aunt Jeannie's. Doesn't that look spectacular? It tasted even better!

Bethany playing at Grandma and Grandpa Hay's house.

Bethany and Grandpa

We took a trip to the North Shore and this was at Duluth Harbor at the lift bridge.

Trent received his first bible at church. He is really taking off in his interest and ability to read.

Toby demonstrating my wood graining project.

Bethany's dedication at our church. We're thankful for a strong community of believers!

Still here... Summer part 1...

2009-08-23T13:27:00.009-05:00

Camping in June with lots of friends at Baker State Park. First the adults... (and Chewie)

and then all of the kids... (I think there were actually some missing)

Fishing with the kids... or should i say the kids fishing with their bait assistant dads!

Becky looking as beautiful as ever!

For some reason I can't get rid of the text underline here. This is Bethany and I at Trent's soccer practice.

Over the 4th, Matthew ran in the kid's Pan-O-Prog fun run. He placed third overall. It was a lot of fun for all of us.

Matthew and I went to camp Nathanael earlier this summer. It was a great time for just the two of us to ride horse, shoot things, make things out of wood, sing songs about God, discuss some important life stuff and just hang out!

Matthew really enjoyed shooting targets and earned two merit badges for his sharpshooting ability.

What made the experience even better was that we were able to spend it with some good friends of mine. Here we hiked out into a field filled with ticks, built a fire and had a hobo supper. It was sweet! Except, of course, the tick part.

Matthew is doing piano lessons and has been doing soccer. He's doing well although can be our most challenging child at times as his will is strong. I'm sure someday we will be thankful for that!

Trent has started 1st grade and is our most happy go lucky child that goes with the flow. Unfortunately this causes him to go a long with the flow too much depending upon who he is hanging with at the time. Trent has just completed a great flag football season... more to come there...

Toby and Bethany are at times the best of friends and others, the worst of enemies. Both are doing well and clearly have accepted each other as brother and sister. I know I fought with my sister battle royale style growing up so I guess all is well there.

More to come about how our summer wrapped up!

Busy, busy, BUSY!

2009-05-07T21:22:00.010-05:00

We have been busy. I'm sure you are experiencing the same! I heard a story of a conversation between two friends. One was going on an on about how crazy his life was for quite some time while the other friend listened. Finally the silent friend spoke and said, "You don't have to do this."

The troubled friend said"Yeah, I should try not to be so worked up". The other friend said again, "you don't have to do this" in a calm voice. He then said it over and over and over again.

It seems that it is so easy to get busy but it is so much harder to stop being busy in this stage of life! Especially with all that goes on. The point of the friend saying, "you don't have to do this" over and over again is that our God is much bigger than the situation we are in. He is working through it, around it and it. He will get us through it and help us to the the next challenge. He wants us to take refuge in Him as we work through life's challenges and struggles.

May you find peace and hope in God's plans for you on a daily basis! Hopefully my story made some sense today...

The kids are good. Very busy and very much typical kids.

Dan

Bethany is home and recovering well...

2009-04-19T21:49:00.008-05:00

A quick update on Bethany... She came home late yesterday afternoon as she was doing well with her liquid intake and pain control. They usually say two nights in the hospital because the surgery is usually done on children that are younger than Bethany. I've included some pictures that better tell the story of her (and our) experience. Thanks for all of your prayers through this. She is doing very well!

Just before surgery after we got her dressed in the hospital pjs she began to get the worried look... It makes us wonder what her surgery experience was like before we got her. We believe that she had two prior surgeries to repair her lip while in China. Shortly after this picture was taken I carried her to the operating room where the anesthesiologist gave her the "sleepy gas" to put her out for the procedure(s).

After over 2 1/2 hours we were finally able to see Bethany again. It's kind of hard to see her so groggy, bleeding and in pain. Thankfully the doctor and nurses did a great job of staying ahead of the pain. The first day she really just dozed in and out of consciousness. That was a good thing as I'm sure that everything felt sore from her ears (tubes) to her lip (removal of dysfunctional salivary glands) to the biggest part, the installation of the soft palate. The doctor said that we shouldn't look in her mouth because it will appear as if a bomb had gone off in there. He then said I know you're going to look but I just wanted to warn you. He was right. The soft palate was literally formed from existing skin from within her mouth/nose. Amazing! Keep in mind, Bethany woke up with a much smaller airway to breathe through and a much smaller space to move her tongue. Instead of breathing through a large space which consisted of both her nasal cavity and mouth ,she now had two smaller spaces to breathe through. The doc said that this can be a big shock for them as well.

Bethany's room. Notice Bethany's arms. After surgery "no no's" are strapped to her arms to ensure that she cannot touch her mouth. These are velcro-shut tubes that keep her from bending her elbows. She still has mobility but it is very limited. This was and continues to be a source of frustration. Within moments after waking up, she complained about these and thankfully yesterday we were able to remove them when she is closely supervised. She must wear them at night for the next two weeks. My parents came to help and keep us company. We were glad to have them!

Bethany really perked up when her brothers arrived for a visit on the second day. She was also glad to have the no no's off!

Finally, a picture before all of this happened. Easter morning. Doesn't everyone look happy?

Thanks again for checking in. We have a resilient and amazing little girl!

Dan for the family

Bethany's Surgery Update

2009-04-17T23:54:00.002-05:00

Early this morning we went to Children's hospital in Minneapolis for Bethany's surgery. The procedure took about 2 1/2 hours and was successful in addressing multiple issues. First the surgeon installed tubes in her ears releasing large amounts of fluid from her ears. This has already dramatically improved her hearing. The second piece was to install a soft palate in her mouth. This took most of the time as the gap was especially large and the doctor forms the palate out of existing material from within her mouth and nose. He equated the feeling in the mouth/nose to that of a skinned knee feeling as she recovers... OUCH! Thankfully she has much in the way of drugs to help through the most difficult healing. The final piece was to remove the pits in her lower lip. They proved to be much deep and more numerous than the doctor expected so that took a good amount of time as well. The rest of the day was spent sleeping restlessly as nurses and aides cycled through the room to administer more medication and check vitals. She is doing as well as can be expected. Probably the most frustrating part for Bethany right now is the arm "no-nos". They keep her elbows straight so that she cannot get her hands into her mouth. When she did come to consciousness I would ask her if she wanted to watch tv, have daddy read a book, have Grandpa sing a song ;), drink or go potty? The only yes we got was to go potty.

We are thankful that she is doing well. We are glad that Grandma and Grandpa Hay were able to come to support us and Rox and Tim were able to spend time with the boys as we have been at the hospital. The doctor says tomorrow may be more difficult as the drug levels diminish and she becomes more active. I'm back home with the boys and Becky stayed the night at the hospital. It is likely that she will be there through Sunday but it is possible that she could be released tomorrow. Thanks for the prayers and keep them coming. Pray that Bethany will know that we will always be there for her and will love her through this. Pray for Becky that she gets some rest and that she can muster patience through her fatigue.

Dan and Becky

He is Risen...He is Risen Indeed!

2009-04-11T21:28:00.012-05:00

Hi! Well, yes, we have not been great on keeping you posted with the blog. However, Bethany's surgery is this Friday, April 17th, so the activity will pick up a bit as we post items relating to her surgery and recovery. So, stay tuned and check in from time to time!

Dad and Bethany playing cards...

Matthew placed 4th in design in the pinewood derby with his landspeeder.

We are finally through the "birthday season" here at our house, with Toby's occuring April 1st. Since he is just 4, we didn't have too big a "party." Grandpa and Grandma Hay, and Aunt Julie and the girls joined us at Chuck E. Cheese to do the games for about an hour, and to have cake and presents. Then we went to Broadway Pizza for dinner (Chuck's Pizza is expensive and yucky!) and back to our house for a bit! It was all very exciting for him and the other kids, and very overwhelming and tiring for us grown-ups!

Grandma and Grandpa made a special birthday cake just for Toby!

Grandma Hay with cousin Jillienne and Bethany.

Birthday song for Toby.

Monday Trent and Matthew return to school for 4th quarter, after having their 3 week spring break. I wish I could say it was a relaxing break, but with my work schedule, sickness that went through all 4 kids, yearly well-checks and other scheduled appointments, and swimming lessons that started a few weeks ago, it was quite hectic. I think the boys were glad to have the break, however, and are looking forward to finishing up their years! It's hard to believe Trent will be going all day next year! I will really miss him.

Grandpa and Grandma loving on Matthew!

Our dear friends the McGraws recently gave us their piano (Thank you again!!!!) and Matthew is chomping at the bit to start lessons. I think we will wait until the fall, though. In the meantime, he has taken all of his recorder music from school and plunked it out on the piano. He loves sitting on the bench and playing around with notes. Let's hope his enthusiam continues once the lessons start!! All this time Dan and I have been waiting and hoping that he would sing...but it just may be that instrumental music is going to be his niche!

Bethany continues to do very well. She is very demanding of attention and tests boundaries fairly regularly, but she is happy and comfortable in her family! She is eating and sleeping well, and is trying out a lot of English. We are so glad her surgery will be over soon so that we can start speech therapy! There is a lot of things she is saying that we just can't understand...even though we belives she is using mostly English, or a combination of Cantonese and English. She now knows the camera is for smiling, and poses and grins the minute she sees one out! We took formal pictures at JC Penneys last week, and she did a great job! We can't wait to get them back and post them for you.

All dressed up for pictures. She's still not sure about dresses as you can probably tell...

Today we did our Easter egg and basket hunt at home, since I am working all morning into the early afternoon tomorrow at church. Tomorrow afternoon we are spending with our long-time good friends, the Hartmann family, which we are really looking forward to. Between our 2 families, we have 9 kids, so there will be a lot of activity!!

Trent enjoying his Easter basket (we did the Easter egg hunt Saturday morning...)

Despite our busy schedule, we have tried to focus on our Savior this week and the sacrifice He made so that we can live eternally in heaven with Him someday. We are reminded daily of our need and dependence on Him, and are so thankful for His gift to us! God's blessings to you on the most beautiful and wonderful of days tomorrow!

In HIS Joy, Becky for the hayfam6

2009-03-26T21:21:00.002-05:00

March is ending and so the birthday season is nearing an end at the Hay household. At least until December at least... Here are a few pictures and a brief update on us mostly told by the pictures. We continue to grow, learn and love every day. Some are more challenging than others but we will continue to restart our efforts with every new day. We hope that you are all doing well and hope to hear from you all soon.

Matthew's Birthday was in February, Becky and Trent in March followed by Toby in early April.

Trent's costume birthday party crew.

Matthew enjoying some reading. He is our reader. Just give him a book (or Wii) and he is entertained endlessly.

Trent (and SpongeBob) getting ready for bed.

Bethany is finally starting to look at some books. Sometimes. Here she looked at a book for a few minutes in her bed before going off to sleep.

Finally, here is a picture that clearly demonstrates how Bethany feels about dresses. Even though she was cute she did everything she could to try not to look so... I don't think it worked!

Here's to hoping you are found with happiness and great joy during this last push of winter cold before spring rushes in! God Bless you all,

Dan

A few pictures today

2009-03-12T21:58:00.006-05:00

Hey all,

Just a few pictures of what is going on in our world lately.

Why am I looking at a picture of Dan in red shorts???? I had to post this to appease some of our friends that we met in China. This one is called Dan and the lucky reds... Darryl and Sharon, our travel partners and now friends were with us in the Chinese Wal-Mart. While we were there we noticed a lot of red underwear for sale. Apparently red under-garments are HOT during the Chinese New Year and thus there was quite a market for them. Since I pointed them out Darryl dubbed me Dan, "Lucky Red" Hay. I vowed to live up to my name and when I saw these gym shorts I just couldn't resist. ENJOY! Darryl, this one's for you brother!

The kids holding their PEZ dispensers from the Grimaldi's. They sent them to us along with some other gifts. So nice and what kid doesn't like spending 10 minutes loading those little candies to voraciously consume them from the dispenser in less than a minute?

Matthew's birthday party. Don't worry, everyone had a good time, REALLY! Grandpa decorated the cake in STAR WARS style.

Our good friend Cheri holding Bethany.

Bethany all gussied up to go to a shower that was held in her honor at our church. We are blessed to have so many folks that care for her and our family.

Matthew and Bethany hanging out on Matthew's sick day. He's been better and will finally get to go back to school tomorrow!

We were very excited to see Uncle Jim. The kids introduced him to the Wii!!

Toby and Uncle Jim box each other. (notice Trent in the background)

Toby takes out his uncle with a K.O.!!!!

A pictureless blog...for now.

2009-03-07T21:46:00.003-06:00

Hi!
Well, I have a few things to tell about, but I don't have the pictures to back them up - yet!

First off, Bethany and I were treated to a simply unbelievable "Welcome Home" shower last Saturday - complete with all kinds of treats, gifts and ladybug decorations galore! About 25 people showed up at our church to celebrate Bethany's arrival and "shower" us with love and goodies...clothes, accessories, and lots and lots of great books!! My dear friends Denise, Julie and Gina orchestrated the grand event, and Julie, who is a fabulous photographer, took all of the pictures. I haven't gotten them from her yet, but when I do, I will post some. So tune in! We continue to be blessed by so many and are yet again reminded of God's provision for our family.

Week 2 of being back to work went by quickly but smoothly. It is quite exhausting juggling 4 kids, work, and all of the extra stuff every family does with volunteering and activities...and then it was my birthday this week too...but I am just trying to take one day at a time and see what God has planned for each day. We aren't supposed to sleep much during our 30's anyways, right? Gina and Julie took me out for drinks and appetizers on my birthday after a school meeting, and Dan and I went to dinner on Friday night while our good friends Tim and Roxy played with and cared for the 4 kids.

On Friday Bethany started a gymnastics class, which she will do the next 6 weeks until her surgery. She has such a little gymnast body, and she has tons of energy and flexibility! She loved it and it was funny watching her...she wasn't the best at staying with the group, since she was so excited to try everything out, but the teacher said she listened very well for her first time in this setting. I will try to get a picture of her in her little leotard and shorts next week to post that as well.

This coming week Dan is gone a few days on business...please pray for safe travels, as he will be flying in one of those little commuter planes. YUCK! I am not happy about the arrangement but no one consulted with me on it. :) I have conferences for the 2 older boys this week but that's about it for excitement. Next Friday we'll head to Sioux Falls for a family shower for Bethany on Saturday. March is a busy month for us but we are all healthy and are thankful for all of the many blessings we experience by God's grace every day.

Thanks for checking in on us...drop us a note, please! Lots of love, Becky for the Hay family 6.

Hello again...

2009-02-26T21:25:00.003-06:00

Hi there,

Just a brief post to say hello...we are stuck inside tonight due to major amounts of blowing snow and although not much new has happened, I wanted to post a picture of the 4 kiddos sledding this past Sunday with dad. The 2 younger ones decided they were NOT fans of sledding, and after a few runs down the hill were content to watch their older brothers from the comfort of the family van.

I started back to work this week...which makes things just a little bit harrier, but it actually is a bit of a nice break from the fighting twosome at home (Toby and Bethany are fierce competitors and frequent squabblers at the moment). The great news is that Bethany is doing great at daycare (my good friend Gina takes the kids while I'm at work) and is not bothered at all by the big dog there. Chewie is a mere 20 pounds, but Darby is 60! After about 10 minues of crying the first day, Bethany has not paid any attention to her - praise God!!

Tomorrow we go to a "Celebration of Life" service for Ian Henderson, the sweet boy I have mentioned in the past, who passed away last week at the young age of 7. He is rejoicing in Heaven with the Father now, out of pain and completely whole, but we mourn with his parents as they begin life without his physical presence. It is a temporary separation to be sure, but heart wrenching as well.

Saturday I am honored that some friends are throwing a "Welcome Home" shower for Bethany at our church, and then later in the afternoon we have an adoption group fellowship gathering for all of the MN families with AWAA (our agency).

We are so blessed! Thanks for checking in!

Becky

Ho Gowji! (Cantonese for good dog)-Sunrise in Minnesota

2009-02-20T21:17:00.012-06:00

We are still here but we are getting pulled into the busyness of life in Minnesota and neglecting our blogging responsibilities. Our friend Darryl has effectively chided us for not staying on top of our posts. Becky and I were able to pull away for a few hours for our Valentine's celebration and just decided that blogging wasn't an effective way to be romantic. Bethany has made a dramatic improvement in her adjustment to Chewie... She no longer is scanning the room to ensure that she has a location of the dog. She can walk from room to room with no worries about his proximity and she has even taken on the responsibility of feeding him every morning. We had come to think that she wanted to be picked up because of the dog but it turns out that she just likes to be carried everywhere! It is an immense blessing to be past the "I am freaked out by the dog phase" because now we can gain a clearer understanding of how well she is adjusting. It is still a bit challenging to get past the language barrier and speech impediment caused by her cleft palate. We believe that Bethany is saying much more than we realize in English but because of her almost entirely missing palate we don't understand much. This is consistent with what her caretakers in China told us. Often, they could not understand her Cantonese either. None the less we are able to communicate pretty well. She talks a lot! I can't wait to understand more of it!

Matthew, our oldest just celebrated his 9th birthday. We are looking forward to a very small gathering of one of his friends and family for a party tomorrow. Matthew has coined it his "un-birthday" party because we have limited the party from his original hope. His basketball team has been a great blessing to him and the family as we've experienced alot of fun at his games this season. The team placed third overall in the final playoffs. We are thankful that he has the interest and the ability to play. His coach gave him the "most improved" player honorable mention at the end of the playoff. I know I've enjoyed getting into the sport as much or more as him. For those that know me that is a feat in itself. He has been a bit under the weather tonight so pray that he feels better tomorrow.

Trent continues to enjoy kindergarten and is also looking forward to his upcoming birthday. We are in the birthday season here at our house. He received special honors as he saved the day in the van as mom was driving. Bethany had a slight problem with something coming out of her nose and mom could not help (driving). She asked Trent to help with a Kleenex and he boldy went where most 5 (almost 6) year olds would never go! He wiped the offensive matter off of her face! He received an opportunity to take a chance in the privilege jar. This is a reward that can only be achieved for a random act of kindness. You cannot get it for what could appear as "sucking up" is the bottom line I guess. He picked a slip of paper that said, "movie night-you pick". This is the same kid who squishes spiders with his fingers when he sees them...

And finally an update on our Toby. He is having a bit of a rough time. We have to guess that is has a lot to do with the new competition in the house to be the baby in the family. He has been acting out quite a bit...bothering his sister (especially in the car), hitting his brothers and often not doing what mom/dad ask. It's actually quite amazing that Bethany and he can turn anything into a competition. We were building a Lego block tower the other day and they were jockeying to be the fastest to hand me a block. It was like a muscle off at a body building contest. He is our laugher. Not that the others don't laugh but he laughs when he's nervous or in trouble. That makes it awkward and frustrating at times to discipline. Frankly it makes it fun sometimes. I know that I can easily make him laugh to help him to stop being angry about something.

Praise God for the blessing of our children and what we learn through our experiences with them. Can you believe how our family has grown! I would have never imagined about 10 years ago that I would have 3 sons and a daughter from China! Thank God that he has taught me to never say never (any more).

We are a bit sad as the child of friend of ours has gone home to be with the Lord. Ian Henderson passed from this world two nights ago. He's a great kid. Please keep his parents, family and friends in your prayers as this is difficult time and a celebration of a life well lived in just a few short years. He is safe now with his eternal Father. Read more at http://www.hendersonhome.net/.

Thanks for checking in with us. Dan

Week 2 as a family of 6!

2009-02-03T22:45:00.004-06:00

Hello!

I feel a little out of practice at blogging already, since I am out of the daily habit! We want to try and send out a "weekly update" for everyone so you can see our transition progress! We also will use this venue to talk about some of the upcoming medical procedures we will be going through with Bethany as we address her cleft palate and related issues.

First off, the dog thing has gotten a little better. We still have a long way to go, but Bethany is no longer crying all day. This is not only a good thing for her, but also a good thing for her brothers and her mother, who were getting a little frustrated. Our longtime friend Gene, who speaks fluent Cantonese, came over last Friday night and tried talking to Bethany about Chewie. She was fine to talk to him/listen to him about other things, but she gave a clear indication that the dog was an off-limits topic. However, I think she did listen to him a little bit, and that helped us turn a bit of a corner the following day. It still is a daily struggle that includes tears and frustration, but it is definitely an improvement over last week. We'll take it!

Last week we did get in to see our wonderful pediatrician. We have been going to him since Matthew was born, and we love him!! With him, you can tell that being a pediatrician is not just a job for him, but a calling. Anyway, he is very happy with Bethany's growth and adjustment, and we are getting her caught up on vaccinations as well as treating her ear infection. He also made a call to the surgeon about her cleft palate repair (they are friends) and was able to get our March 16th appointment moved to today!! We are so thankful for his help in expediting this process, as we need to get going on things for Bethany's speech and hearing issues. Did I mention that we love him?? :)

Anyway, today we saw Dr. Sidman, who is a surgeon (I'll spare you the long and difficult title) and also the head of the Minneapolis Children's Hospital Craniofacial Team (hope I spelled that correctly). He was wonderful to talk to and he gave us a lot of information about her condition and the plan for her care. Two interesting points of note: 1)The Asian population has a significantly higher incidence of cleft lip/palate that any other ethnic demographic, and its incidence usually occurs more in the southern part of China than in the northern part. (Bethany is from Wuzhou City, which is in the southern province of Guangxi.) 2) The "pits" in her lower lip are indicative of Van der Woude's syndrome, which is a less common type of cleft palate, particularly in China. This is not of any concern the surgeon has assured us...it will be something she will want to know as she is older as it means her children are 50% likely to be born with cleft lip/palate.

Well, we basically learned that Bethany will have 3 major surgeries in the next 4-5 years. The first one will be in the next 1-2 months, where we will put tubes in her ears, fix the lip pits, and close most of the cleft palate. She will be in the hospital for 1-2 nights and the recovery will be somewhat painful. At age 4-5, there will be some upper lip and nose reconstruction to help with future dental issues and help with nasal tonality. The surgeon mentioned that her lip repair surgery was poorly done, so they will correct some of the work and complete the job. Lastly, at age 6-7, before adult teeth start to come in, there will be a surgery to "build a dental wall" for her teeth to be able to come in. We don't have a lot of specifics at this point, but in this surgery they will take bone from her hip area and graft it into the remaining front part of her cleft palate. I am probably leaving a bunch of stuff out and not being complete in my information, but this is what I can remember and somewhat understand! At any rate, we are glad to have an idea about where we are going from here and that the surgeon is confident is being able to correct things for Bethany.

I mentioned ear tubes...part of our appointment today involved meeting with an audiologist. Bethany is showing moderate hearing loss at this point, which needs to be addressed right away. Hopefully the tubes will help so that she can hopefully regain some if not all of her hearing. At this point she is not hearing well enough to differentiate many consonant sounds, which only creates more issues with her speech. We are going to have to have A LOT of speech therapy once she has recovered from her surgery. Please pray for her in this regard. She is a very bright and eager girl, and we are of course hoping that she will be able to go to kindergarten in 1.5 years - but her speech ability will be critical.

Well, that's the gist of things here for the moment. The boys are doing well. Bethany squeals Matthew's name and throws her arms out for him to give her a hug each day we pick him up from school. Toby and Bethany love to antagonize each other and pick on each other, as well as compete for space on mom's lap. Trent is great at keeping Chewie away from his little sister. They are all being great big brothers and wonderful helpers. We are so blessed.

Have a great week!

Love, Becky for the hayfam6

Reunited-Back in the US

2009-01-27T22:14:00.005-06:00

We are home and glad to be! This picture was taken this past Saturday morning. Everyone together and doing well.

Rewinding a bit to Friday when were in the middle of our flight-a-thon. We started in Guangzhou and took a 1 and 1/2 hour flight to Shanghai. We spent some time in Shanghai and then were in the air for 15 hours on this 757 where we spent the most time that day. It was thankfully a very good plane because it stayed in the sky amidst some of the most wicked turbulence I've ever experienced. Thankfully it didn't last long but just enough to encourage crying and barfing in the cabin... After arriving in Chicago we just barely made our flight after going through customs and waiting for shuttle trains.

Upon our arrival in Minneapolis we were reunited with our boys, family and a couple of close friends. Thanks to all for all of your prayer and support. We are very thankful!

Bethany experiencing some static while playing in the tents with her brothers in the basement.

Unfortunately we have run into a bit of a snag with Bethany coming home. Everything was going fine until we picked the dog up from our friend's...She is terrified of our dog Chewie. As a result he is spending a lot of time in his kennel until we can help her feel more comfortable with him. This has caused quite a bit of anxiety for the whole family but since many of our friends and just about everyone in our neighborhood have dogs... Chewie is not likely to go away. We are going to slowly work with her to help her feel comfortable with him. Not ideal but we are working with the cards we're dealt. Prayers needed.

Look at Chewie's pathetic look! He's had some time to perfect it!

Today Bethany had her first doctor appointment and it was confirmed that she has a double ear infection. She is on medication and hasn't displayed any symptoms of illness. That should be taken care of soon. We also contacted the cleft pallate clinic today to begin to determine what the next steps are for her future repair. This is something we want to do at the right time since the most important thing is that she feels loved and a part of our family. We also don't want to put it off for too long because without her pallate her speech development (among other challenges) are impaired.

Well, we definitely haven't been as good at posting the past few days since we were in China. I guess it has something to do with a job, three more kids and a life that doesn't involve free time in a hotel room or traveling to exotic places. We will however continue to share our journey as it unfolds but maybe not quite as often as the past couple of weeks.

Finally, please pray for our friends Tom, Deb and Ian as they continue on a challenging journey. Their story is shared here and I am sharing it with you in the hope that you will join with us to pray and support them in the days behind and ahead.

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/ianhenderson

Dan

Ok, one more from China...

2009-01-22T07:21:00.008-06:00

Dan here,

Can't sleep, I guess its the upcoming travel. I feel compelled to talk about the many ways that God has blessed our journey. The most obvious evidence of that is through the people he placed along the way. We were glad to have shared part of the journey with all in our travel group, the Wades, Andersons, Davidsons, Rexroads and our guides Rosa, Maggie and Glen.

Most notably our travel partners and now friends the Grimaldis. They have been a great encouragement, comedic relief and shoulder to lean on as we've navigated this foreign land. We've been greatly blessed to have them with us for the entire journey. Hopefully we've been an encouragement to them as well. Here are a few moments captured along the way...

God bless you all as you go home tomorrow, keep the faith!

This is it...our last post in China!

2009-01-22T05:48:00.012-06:00

We have been so blessed to have had great travel partners throughout our journey. These families have all been ordained by God to bring their children home from China. (West family missing)

Hello again...one more time...from a hotel room in China!

Today is the day we got to say things like..."this is our last breakfast here...this is our last lunch...tonight is our last sleep." It is wonderful. We have definitely enjoyed our time here and have learned a lot about where our daughter is from, but we are homesick and so ready to be home as a family of 6. Please pray for our safe travels tomorrow, and for our transition home...for our quick recovery from jetlag (everyone here says going back is worse than coming), for a peaceful introduction between siblings, and for patience for all of us as we find a new "normal" in our home. Thank you so much.

Yesterday and today God has really been speaking to my heart about remembering that he is in control. Watching coverage from the inauguration, God whispered this to my anxious heart. Reading the caring bridge update about our friends' son who is battling an inoperable brain tumor, God breathed this to my anxious heart. Thinking about our 3 flights over many miles and many hours, God spoke this to my anxious heart. Despite his wonderful provision and peace that He has given us in this journey, I still allow my fear and anxiety to cloud my vision of Him. Daily I stumble, and daily He lifts me up...our God is an awesome God!

The only thing on our "agenda" today was our visit to the U.S. Consulate to swear that all of our paperwork was accurate for the processing of Bethany's passport and visa. Our guide kept saying, "Now we will go to the Consulate to swear." It was funny. Anyway, since we had a lazy day, we did a little packing and then took a taxi with the Davidsons to "Beijing Road" which is where the locals shop. Our guide, Rosa, said this is where she shopped, instead of the touristy Shamian Island. So off we went, to have yet another authentic Chinese experience. The place was very busy with literally thousands of Chinese...in shops more Western than Chinese, although a few of those shops were peppered in as well. The most memorable part for me was almost running into a little boy who had dropped his pants in the middle of it all to pee. I had heard the people in China do this, but this was the first time I had actually seen it. Needless to say, we were careful not to step in any puddles. :)

Chris enjoying the cab ride to Beijing street in Guangzhou.

Kristen, Jonah, Becky, Bethany and I all jammed into the back of the cab.

Shopping on Beijing street. Kind of felt like going to the Minnesota state fair. There was even food on a stick!

A sea of people moving in every direction.

One of many examples of how the locals bundle their children up needlessly. It had to be at least 70 degrees outside. This guy had on at least two layers and in some areas three. A sweat box!

The "swearing ceremony" was noisy, as there were probably 50 adoptive families there. Cameras were not allowed, so Dan couldn't take any pictures. It only took a minute and that was it...we have crossed every "t" and dotted every "i" and signed all there is to sign while in China. There is some paperwork to do once we are home (and unfortunately another $1000 or so in fees), but we are official and able to go home. Praise God, Hallelujah, and AMEN! From there, 2 families left right for the airport to leave, and the rest of us save 1 family leave at 6 am tomorrow morning for Shanghai. The last family goes to Beijing for 2 more days before they head back to Boston...hang in there, Andersons! We all head back to our respective homes with our families brand new! Now it's off to bed, as our wake-up call will come at 4:30 a.m. and our luggage collected at 5 am!

We hope you have enjoyed following our journey...we have enjoyed recording it. See many of you soon!

Love,

Dan, Becky and Bethany :)

This was actually from a couple of days earlier at the White Swan hotel. A beautiful pond and waterfall inside the hotel.

2009-01-21T06:20:00.008-06:00

Hello everyone!

Two sleeps left before we make our way back home. While we continue to experience great things here, we continue to swing towards home in our hearts. We miss family, friends and co-workers. It is still surreal that I am here in China bringing home a little girl to change her life and our family forever. Thank God for this opportunity, the blessing of a daughter, and the great support that we have and continue to receive from family in so many ways. We are excited about our homecoming and the many memories that we'll be able to share in the coming days and months.

This morning we woke up later than usual as there wasn't anywhere to rush off to. Our guides went to the Chinese consulate to obtain visas for our children to leave the country. This didn't require our presence only that we be available in the event that there were questions. As of this evening all of the paperwork went through with no problems for all in our group. Another hurdle crossed! Tomorrow we visit the consulate to finalize everything before we are totally ready to leave the country with our children.

After we were released from our hotel, we ventured out to CarreFour (grocery store) with the Grimaldis to pickup some supplies. That was fun as we were able to catch a cab using the card that the hotel concierge wrote up in Chinese telling the cab driver where we wanted to go. We had lunch and got back just in time to leave with the group to the Chen Dynasty Museum and Art Display. I have included some pictures below of some of what we saw there. Many ornate buildings and art pieces. Truly amazing how much detail was put into the artwork and buildings.

After a few minutes relaxing at the hotel, we were off to dinner at the upscale Banana Leaf Thai restaurant. This is something that has been done with many other groups as a celebration for completion of all of the paperwork/process to bring your children home. It was a great celebration as we enjoyed the food, conversation and entertainment. Lots of pictures below. To end off the evening we stopped off at Starbucks for some sweets with Chris, Kristen and Jonah Davidson and walked back to the hotel to wrap up another day. Bethany is asleep and Becky and I are close behind. She has been going to bed so easily the last few nights. Actually she has been asking to go. I think we are wearing her out with all of the activity.

Good night all and God Bless!

Dan (& Becky)

A monument to Chen ancestors.

A comical piece of Chinese art...

A very small and old Chinese woman who had very much to say to two young boys running within the museum...

Becky and Bethany at dinner tonight...

The Davidsons getting ready for the big meal at the Banana Leaf.

The Rexroad family (the doctor) at dinner.

Thai dancer/singers sharing a Thai folk song, "You ain't nothin' but a hound dog"...

Shopping, anyone???

2009-01-20T03:25:00.010-06:00

Bethany helped me to display 1/3 of the breakfast buffet that we enjoy every morning in the rotating restaurant on the 45th floor of our hotel.

Hello once again,

Three more "sleeps" as our fellow Minnesotans have said until we come home!! We found out today that we leave the hotel at 6 am Friday morning to make our 9:30 flight to Shanghai, which arrives about noon, and then we wait in the airport until 5, when we leave for the 13.5 hour flight to Chicago. From there we hopefully get through customs fast enough to make our flight to Minneapolis - HOME!! It's going to be a VERY long day, but well-worth it at the end. We also found out that our seats on the flights are NOT together, so please pray that we can negotiate something with the airline or with surrounding travelers that day. The flight will be long enough as it is, and even longer if we are not together.

Our friend Chris Davidson with his son Jonah before the reality of physical examination and thus the crying hit. Priceless.

Okay, on a more positive note, we got through another hurdle today...the "medical exam." I put it in quotes, because among adoptive families it is known as a joke...they don't really do much and in fact, our guides said that on the form which asks if our child has had a fever or not that we are supposed to check "no" no matter what. They basically weigh and measure your child, look in their ears, listen to their chest, and give them a look over - and that's it...but we need the signature to get the visa and get out of the country, so we fork out the money and get it done.

Sharon Grimaldi exercising her freedom of speech in places where it has never been exercised (or legal) before... Notice the sign above...

A red couch with all of the kids in our group. Not quite the red couch, not quite just the kids that were adopted on this trip...

After the official business,we had as much of the day as we wanted to do more shopping on Shamian Island, so SHOP WE DID. We also had lunch with most of our group at the infamous "Lucy's" where they have great western food. Dan had a cheeseburger and I had a chicken wrap. We then headed over to the equally infamous White Swan Hotel, where we had our kids line up for a picture on the red couch...not sure it was the couch we've seen on many other blogs, but it worked for us! It was a gorgeous day out, and we found some gifts for the boys and a few people that are taking care of things for us while we are away. The salespeople are very friendly, very service-oriented and very PUSHY, so it is quite exhausting. Bethany reminded us towards the end of our afternoon with some of her behavior that she is a tired 3 year old, and she fell asleep during the cab ride home. Upon awaking, she happily shared some Pringles with daddy. :)

Both of the above pictures were taken with shopkeepers that we made some purchases from. The lady in the second spoke Cantonese (Bethany's native) and was from Wuzhou City (Bethany's hometown).

Tonight we were finally able to connect with our fellow Minnesotans the Bjorlins for dinner at the Italian restaurant we had been to earlier in the week. They taxied over with a few other people from their group, and we "hosted" the evening. Evidently, the restaurants on our end of town are a little better on their end, so the place was a hit. Now we're settling in for another night in preparation for another day tomorrow.

The decorations for Chinese New Year in our hotel lobby...

It was good this morning to talk to our boys after they had been back in their own beds for a night after being gone 10 days in Sioux Falls. They were excited and refreshed and that makes it easier for me to be gone these last few days. I CAN'T WAIT to give them the hugs and kisses I've been storing up while we've been gone.

The light show on the front of our hotel. It's much bigger than the pictures gives credit for...

Good night, and happy inauguration day tomorrow!! :) (HA!)

Love, Becky for the 3 of us

The following were taken on Shamian island. Turns out it's a popular place for wedding pictures to be taken. And because the Chinese Spring Festival (Chinese New Year) is just around the corner, it's a very popular time of year for weddings. First they take the "western style" picture, and then the more traditional, usually red attire picture for the bride.

What day is it???

2009-01-19T00:30:00.015-06:00

I constantly have to ask myself that question...what day is it here and what day is it back at home? It kind of feels like living in 2 different worlds at times - the one we are presently in, and the one we came from and are longing to get back to!

I'll tell you - I CANNOT wait to get back to western bathrooms!!! I am so sick of the squatty-potties, and even when there are western toilets here...the women still tend to squat over them, leaving a combination of shoe prints and urine on the toilet seats!! YUCK! I know it's probably more than you wanted to know, but trust me...much better for you to read it than I have had to experience it. With a three year old toddler who has a propensity to drink a lot of liquids and a small bladder, I have seen way more Chinese bathrooms than I ever would have preferred. If I never see another one again in my life, it's just fine by me!

Bethany's new sunglasses!

Our guides Rosa and Maggie.

Well, onto today's agenda: this morning we were taken to a "park" which our guide Rosa said we would a "botanical garden" back home. It was very green, very colorful, and very pretty with a huge variety of plants and flowers. I think Dan took a picture every 5 feet or so - seriously!! Whatever he posts on here is a minute fraction of what he has taken. I think he should put everything he has photographed into a (large) picture book and sell them to help pay off our adoption debt! :) (scroll down to the bottom for more text and even more pictures...)

After being at the garden for a few hours, we were brought back to the hotel, and that ended our day's planned activities. A group of us headed for McDonald's and after lunch we came back to our room for some down time. Last night Bethany soaked her bedding and jammies, and I think it was mostly because she was so tired from the past week. So, after some play-doh time, we put her to bed for some quiet time. Dan and I managed to briefly snooze as well, so we all got a little extra rest today.

Some of our friends came by for a chat in the late afternoon, and then we met up at 4:30 to walk to an outside cafe that served Korean food. Dan had a hot pot, and I munched on a little of his meal and some of Bethany's spinach soup. I'm really not hungry the past several days...not because I'm sick, but because I'm just tired of all of the different foods. I am really craving a chef salad right now, but it's not terribly safe to eat fresh produce here...the rule is, if you can peel it, it's ok.

Anyway, we had a nice time at dinner, and then we picked up some goodies from a bakery on the way back to the hotel and hung out at the Andersons room, which we have jealously labeled "the Presidential Suite." It's a lot larger than the rest of our rooms, so it's a nice place for a number of us to congregate and let the kids play. Bethany hasn't been too interested in interacting with the other kids much. She spent time playing with a baby doll, rocking it and feeding it. This would correspond with what we were told about her, that she likes to be a caretaker.

Bethany pointing out her Chinese zodiac sign.

Some of us adults spent some time talking about the lack of "gentleness" and inhibition in these kids. It's pretty interesting...Bethany can be pretty dainty and particular and focused in some areas, but then she can be rough and abrupt in others. A couple of the words we constantly find ourselves saying to her are "gentle" and "careful." She actually slapped Dan in the face tonight...not in a malicious or naughty way, but just because she was being a bit wild and crazy.

We are now ending our day, getting ready for bed. Bethany has gone to bed very easily the last 3-4 nights. We lay her down with a book and her doll and she's out within minutes. Hopefully, this will continue when we get home!!

Tomorrow we have Bethany's required medical appointment and then more time on Shamian Island for shopping. We are hoping to connect for dinner with the Bjorlins, the other family here from Minnesota that has been in the other travel group this whole time. Four more nights here until we can come home - I can't wait. Please continue your prayers for our safety...we really appreciate them. We give thanks each and every night we are here for our family and our friends, and for God's provision to us and to Bethany as we get to know each other.

Love from China, Becky (and Dan)

Bonus post-Living in China

2009-01-18T17:48:00.012-06:00

Hey all,

Here's an extra post just to show some pictures of China, typical stuff that gives you an idea of how people live here in China. I like to take odd pictures (Becky reminds me of that often) so hopefully you enjoy them as much as I enjoy taking them.

It is truly amazing how God has created such a diverse world, isn't it?

Dan

Beijing

Keep in mind that all of these pictures were taken in temperatures in the low teens with a harsh wind chill. I know that's not bad for most in the midwest right now but these folks are outside much more...

Yes, that's a mobile sales sweet potato sales side car.

I couldn't quite makeout what he was making in this wok on the back of his bike.

Peanuts! Get your peanuts here!

The golden arches just outside the Summer Palace walls.

The Cloisonne vase factory...
A very interesting painstaking detailed process. What you can't see in the picture is that there isn't any heat in the building...
It's freezing in there... The copper vases are etched, copper wire is glued to them and painted over and over again.

They are then put into a furnace. See the flame in the middle of that floor?

I took this before I saw the "no pictures" sign.

This elderly woman walk amongst the busy streets, right between the cars as they rushed by...

This was in the view from our hotel...

On to Nanning...

The view from our hotel in Nanning. You can see the official country bird everywhere... The crane.

Well, I have much more, I will post at a later time. That's enough for now!

Guangzhou day 2: Shopping, paperwork, and time with friends

2009-01-18T06:46:00.014-06:00

Hello everyone,

It's Dan! I know you've been dying for me to do more than just post the pictures and videos so I'm providing both tonight. Today we started out by awaking around 7am which is fairly typical now that we have adjusted to the time zone. Becky and I showered and then Bethany took a bath. She wasn't very happy about it I must add. Although her information said that she loves baths, every time we turn on the tub water she wails. Hopefully that goes away soon. It's a bit heart breaking to hear her do that.

After breakfast we went up to the 45th floor rotating restaurant for a breakfast buffet. It is very neat. Lots of food with good variety. Definitely not the kind of variety that I have mentioned previously about the food here in China. Good variety, the kind you actually want to blog about... As the restaurant turns you get to see a different view of the city. I promise to share some video/pictures of that soon. Guangzhou is very busy and the area we are in is very, very modern. Folks dress very trendy and it is very interesting that this feels a lot more like New York or Vegas. In some ways good and in others bad. There are individuals on the street in the evening selling pirated DVDs and attempting to give our advertisements for places of ill repute if you know what I mean... You definitely feel a bit more concerned about ensuring your money and those you care about are close and safe. During the day its very different and much nicer.

We traveled to Shamian Island which is known in Guangzhou for the White Swan hotel as the adoption hotel and its colonial style and various shops. We picked up a few things there from the local shops to bring back home. We also stopped by Carrefour which is the second largest retailer in the world to Wal-Mart. It was a neat experience.

Inside Carrefour. it's a grocery store that is 3 levels deep (you keep going down to get to everything)

Some of the loot from Carrefour. Not as nutritional as it should be but there's fruit in there...

Dragon fruit. It's very odd looking on the outside, the inside is white with black seeds but tastes like kiwi.

Becky and Bethany in front of a Christian church. We couldn't go due to timing and the service that was going on when we arrived was in Mandarin Chinese.

The church. Beautiful colonial style. It was nice to see. Wish we could have participated.

This afternoon Becky (along with 1 parent from each of the families) enjoyed completing some paperwork for the adoption while Bethany and I played in the room, went for a stroll in the hotel and played with some of the other families.

Bethany being goofy with stickers...

This evening we went out to an authentic Italian restaurant which actually was very much so. The Grimaldis and the Davidsons joined us; it was a lot of fun. The tiramisu was awesome. Just ask Becky... There was also a hefty Japanese boy who had to have been up there 4-5 times cleaning up the tiramisu every time they brought more out. After that we strolled back to our hotel and hung out in our room just talking and letting the kids play. Now we are tired and ready for some sleep. Bethany is fast asleep with little incidence. Woohoo!

We are blessed that we have a doctor who is a part of our travel group...he and his family are here adopting their second daughter from China (they have 2 biological sons too). He gave Bethany a brief exam today, as we are worried about a cough she has had since we got her. Her lungs are clear, but he thinks she has an ear infection in at least one ear. The other ear is too compacted with wax to even see the ear drum. Since he is a radiologist, he suggested we try to talk with our pediatrician in the states to see if he thought we should start her on an antibiotic...so we'll see what we can do. Otherwise, he said he would give her some of the zithromax he brought if we want before we fly out on Friday. We'll see how it goes.

Good night from Guangzhou!

Dan (& Becky too)

We're In Guangzhou!

2009-01-17T08:01:00.002-06:00

Hello all,

Just a quick post to let you know we made it off flight #4 of 7 flights we will take during this adventure. The flight was short (just over 1 hour) and Bethany did well. We checked in and headed to Pizza Hut with the Grimaldis. When we returned, we spent time catching up with the Andersons, and later on the Davidsons and the Wades. We have been so blessed by and have enjoyed getting to know the other 8 families in our group, and now it is so fun to meet their children!! I will be sad to part ways with everyone when we leave China, since we are from all over the U.S.

Bethany has been shy and reserved today. She clung to me when our guide Maggie met us at the airport and said hello to her. We think she may have been afraid that she would be taken from us. She is also wondering who all of these new people we are talking to are, although she did finally warm up and play with the Anderson kids for awhile. I think each new situation is going to require a warm-up period for her, which is consistent with what I read in her translated memory books today.

Sorry, no pictures today...that's Dan's job, and he and Bethany are totally out already. Tomorrow we'll have lots more to share.

Becky

Last Day in Nanning

2009-01-16T01:48:00.008-06:00

Hello,

Our last day here in Nanning has been a little slower-paced. We have spent a little time getting some last-minute paperwork finished, including securing Bethany's passport. Glen took us to a marketplace this morning to shop and "hang with the locals" and then we grabbed some lunch at KFC...not quite the kind we have though! At lunch and shortly after, we experienced Bethany's strong will we've heard about, and we had a little bit of a tantrum. It was mostly due to exhaustion, and she fell asleep in my arms on our walk home. She awakened back at the hotel and was sad for a few minutes, calling for her foster mother, but with some distraction she quickly recovered and has been silly and jabbering all afternoon. She can be quite loud at times, so she'll fit in well with the boys. :)

Glen is translating the memory books we got from the Orphanage Director earlier this week, so I am anxious to read through the details of her first 3 years of life. Today at lunch he was telling me some of what he remembered as he works on it, such as "she is very stubborn and is always wanting her way" and "she takes care of everyone at school, making sure they are doing what they are supposed to." Sounds like a pretty strong girl to me!! (And maybe a little bit like her mother??) He also said that the papers say that she is very clever and enjoys doing detail work, such as putting beads on a string.

Falling asleep on the way back to the hotel after shopping.

A large mural of country leaders. I mean HUGE!

We ended our day by walking to the People's Park for some play time and cool air, and ended up taking a little boat ride. After some "on-the-job self-training," Dan and Darryl figured out how to maneuver our watercraft around the very green lake. We then walked back to the hotel, ordered room service, and began packing for our flight out to Guangzhou tomorrow.

Enjoying the ride in a paddleboat.

Dan & Darryl powering the paddleboat.
The year of the bull. Pretty neat eh?

Some of you have asked if this is real for us yet...that we will be bringing her home to MN. In a way, it isn't yet, because this isn't our "real life" right now. She is with us, but she is still in her culture with familiar sights, sounds, food, language, etc. We're pretty sure she thinks our home is a hotel room! And we don't feel at home here... I am trying to think in my mind of how things will work when we get back to our boys and our home, but I really am trying not to have any expectations. Those of you who know me well know that I would like nothing more than to hit the ground running, returning to the normal routine when we get home, but I know that can't happen. It will be a new normal, and although I am dying to know what that will be, God is asking me to "be still" and wait. Grrrrr....it's that lesson in patience and His timing again!! I just might have a tantrum like Bethany did earlier today. :)

Thanks for checking in on us again. We continue to enjoy and are encouraged by your comments and notes.

Lots of love, Becky (and Dan and Bethany)

2nd post today!! Bowling in Nanning, anyone??

2009-01-15T07:14:00.004-06:00

Hi, We had a fun night and I thought I would post again (make sure you scroll to the other post after this one). Tomorrow we are going to try to pack a lot in, including packing back up to head to Guangzhou Saturday morning, so we may not get time to blog much tomorrow. Anyway, when we were out exploring yesterday evening, we walked by a bowling alley, so we thought we would go try to bowl tonight!! Turns out Dan and I don't bowl any better in China than we do in the U.S.!!

The bowling alley was pretty nice and had the electronic screens where we could type our names in English!! We bowled 2 rounds and then headed out to find some food. Most of the street side food places kind of freak us out, and the restaurant in the hotel was booked for a special event tonight, so we headed over to the place our guide to us to the first night, which is just across the parking lot from the hotel. We're getting kind of tired of the place (we've eaten there 3 out of the last 4 nights!), but it's familiar, it's predictable, and there is a sweet waitress there who has taken us under her wing. She loves talking with us to practice her English, and told us tonight that she someday hopes to go and visit America. She said she has lots of friends she has made on the internet that live in America, and she thinks our country is a beautiful place. Her English name is Sara, and she has been a God-send to us...one night, Dan asked for the bill, and one of the girls brought us all beer...but Sara took care of things for us! :)

We continue to see God's provision for our trip in so many ways...from the care of Bethany, to the great weather, to our wonderful guide, to our fun trip-mates, the Grimaldis, to all the details of this whole incredible journey. That for me has been the lesson each day - to TRUST in HIS provision.

Good night from Nanning!! Becky :)

Just another day in Nanning... :)

2009-01-15T01:00:00.016-06:00

Well, last night Dan won the father of the year award. He made the videos and pictures we have taken appear on the TV as a slide show and cuddled up on the bed with Bethany. She fell asleep in his arms!! So thankfully, no tears at bedtime last night.

A beautiful Nanning street decorated for the Chinese Spring Festival (New Year)

This is the same bush that we have in our entry way at our house on the table. Ours is about an 1/8 as big. The landscaping and foliage is beautiful everywhere here. Even on the big city streets there are lots of trees, flowers and bushes.

Today we went to the Nanning Zoo...it was very large and very different from our zoo in MN. We saw a tiger and lion show - 8 tigers and 2 lions in a caged area with 3 trainers. Not sure the animals are treated too well, but Bethany got a kick out of it. This was of course her first time in a zoo...she squealed with delight at almost every exhibit. She seems to like cats and points out every one she sees to us, so we ended the visit with the purchase of a Hello Kitty balloon.

The Grimaldi's -We're a bit concerned about them... I just so happened to catch him violating one of the rules at the zoo on camera.
Actually they were having some fun with the signs at the zoo telling people not to hit the glass on the exhibits.

Ferocious tigers! Actually there were some ferrell cats at the zoo... They aren't the kind that you can pet.

We hit McDonalds for lunch...just as others who have been here before told us, we are getting pretty tired of the chinese food. Noodles, rice and congee at every meal gets a little old and a little bland. I could really go for a chef salad about now!! However, the water is not always safe for consumption, and we were told not to eat fruit or veggies unless we could peel it, so we haven't had too much of them. So, we settled for cheeseburgers and fries today.

Bethany is starting to definitely prefer mom to dad, and she is insistent on having me carry her everywhere and pulling me in all the directions she wants to go. I want to "spoil her" but want to also set some boundaries and limits, since she will not be running the show when we get back home. :)

Thanks for checking in on us. I don't have a lot to say today...we are kind of in a routine: sightseeing in the morning, lunch, down time/play time in the hotel, dinner and a little of local exploring in the evening. We are ready to move on to Guangzhou but are here yet tomorrow and will leave Saturday morning.

One more thing: I don't think we've mentioned a whole lot about our guide, Glen. He is wonderful. He is a local of the area, but went to get his master's degree in Australia for 2 years. He is fluent in Mandarin, Cantonese and English, and can speak some Japanese as well. He is a guide for many if not all of the families that come to Nanning to adopt, and he really loves the kids. It is fun to see him interact with Bethany and with Liliah, the Grimaldis daughter. Please pray for him...like most Chinese people, he has no "religion" although he occasionally goes to temple to pray. He has been very open to hearing about our Christian beliefs and practices, but sees no reason for belief in God. It is hard for me to understand the Chinese viewpoint of "country" as god, so to speak, since they look to the government for everything.

Well, that's it for now. You are all sleeping right now...so good morning to you when you are up to read this!!

Love,

Becky (and Dan) ---scroll down for bonus video material!

Also...

I was finally able to upload a video of our first meeting of Bethany and her caretakers. I had some problems with producing videos previously. Sorry for the bounciness. They surprised us and I was a bit distracted...

"Playing in Nanning"

2009-01-13T23:57:00.024-06:00

Ni hao! (Hello)

Well, another day in Nanning! Last night went a little better for Bethany. She was sad and cried a little at bedtime, but settled in to sleep after awhile and slept the whole night again. She showered with me this morning (Becky) and we began another day together!

Let me back up a bit and tell you about our adventures yesterday and last night. In the morning, we did adoption finalization paperwork. Our guide, Glen, then took us to Wal-Mart again for a few supplies (we let Bethany pick out a backpack and a few toys) and then stayed with us through lunch time, which was at Pizza Hut (yay!! western food!!). Then we were on our own!! Just enough time to explore without getting ourselves into trouble!! :) Anyway, after resting at the hotel for the afternoon, we and the Grimaldis ventured down the street a ways from the hotel looking at the street side shops and restaurants, trying to figure out where we might attempt some dinner. We found a city park and stopped to hear someone singing a little concert; however, when the westerners arrived with their Chinese babies, the singing stopped and we promptly became the center of attention! Our friends' daughter was in a snuggly, and the locals were very interested in seeing how the baby was "hanging" from her mother. We continued on, not wanting to draw a crowd for too long...We actually ended up finding a cute Chinese bakery where we found some goodies, and then headed back to the restaurant by the hotel that Glen had taken us to the night before.

Pictures from today...

Beautiful gardens decorated for the Chinese New Year that is coming up...

This morning Glen took us to a place in Nanning called the "Green Garden" because of the beautiful plants, trees and greenery there. It is the highest point in Nanning. There are also statues that represent all of the minority groups living in the Guangxi province. It was very beautiful and warm. Bethany enjoyed smelling the flowers with mom and touching the statues. She is very content and loves being held. She takes her pink backpack with her whereever we go! We also spent some time at what we would call a large "coi pond." There were hundreds of fish, some quite large, waiting to be fed. Bethany enjoyed feeding the fish immensely and kept saying (in Cantonese, of course), "look at all the fish - they're everywhere!!"

I doubt you've ever seen a coi pond this big... epsecially with fish this large in it...

The Grimaldi's mastering

the art of chopsticks...

We asked for forks and they brought one.

They said it was the only one they had in the whole restaurant!

After lunch with Glen and our driver at another local restaurant, we are back at the hotel again for the day. Tomorrow we are going to the zoo, which should be another educational adventure. At this point Dan and I are getting very homesick for the boys. Please pray for us and for them. When we talk to them, they are starting to miss home and us as well. They are being very well-cared for, but this is the longest they have been away from home and from us, so it is a huge emotional strain on all of us. The tears come easily for both Dan and I when we think of them, but we know this is an important time for us to be spending in our daughter's homeland, bonding to her. We must stay in Nanning until we get her passport on Friday - Saturday morning we fly out to Guangzhou for the final immigration paperwork and her visa, which will take about a week.

One last thing I want to share...Bethany has been very interested in the picture album we've brought of her brothers and our family. She has me tell her the names of her brothers over and over again and tries her best to repeat them. She already can repeat some English words, and I have been trying to give her some sign language to use as well. She also really likes the song "Twinkle, Twinkle, little star," and will sing it perfectly (the tune, not the words yet) on her own. It is precious. God is really answering some many prayers for us while we are here. We really appreciate all of the love, support, prayers, and encouraging comments we have received via email and our blog. It really sustains us in those moments of fear and sadness. You are a large part of God's provision for us in this journey. Thank you!!

Dan hanging out with some beautiful Chinese women at the entrance to the restaurant. ;)

Lots of love,

Becky (and Dan)

Nanning Government appointments and a trip to Wal-mart!

2009-01-12T23:59:00.014-06:00

Yesterday before we met Bethany we visited some places that reminded and tasted like home. I didn't share any of this yesterday since there was much bigger news to cover. We are staying at a very nice state-run hotel. You can see Becky to the left and the view from our room. The street below is contstantly humming at all hours with bus, car, motorcycle, bicycle and pedestrian traffic. The mixture proves to be very interesting when you are in it. Pedestrians do not have the right of way. You have to be very careful on foot when crossing any street. It is something amazing to experience. The good news is we haven't seen anyone get run over while we've been here... AMAZING.

Yesterday we shared a cab with our new friends and fellow adoptive parents the Grimaldis. They are here from Washington state. We have rooms next to us and there is a door that connects both of our rooms. That has been nice on multiple occassions. They are a huge blessing and we've been very thankful to share this journey with them.

Visiting the local Wal-Mart proved very interesting. They are "super" Wal-Marts with fresh fish, meat, poultry and many identified fruits, vegetables and animal parts for sale. They are very clean and the biggest difference between those here and those back in the states is that there are employees everywhere! There is another difference, although they speak a different language they are generally eager to help. I wish I could have taken more pictures but I was told by our guide that they don't like that too much in department stores. Above is also a picture of a pie warmer from McDonalds. Those aren't apple or cherry pies in there though! They are black beans! (I think...) We enjoyed a Big Mac and fries which were very much just like back home. You can also order fries or kernel corn for a healthier choice.

Bethany (Hua Hua) loving the dolly that Grandma and Grandpa Hay gave us on the ride to do more paperwork today. Don't worry, there are no car seats and we all lived!

Back where we met her to finish paperwork. We were able to see her nanny once again. It was difficult to do so but the nanny was very helpful once again.

Workers trimming bushes on a busy street. Vehicles were buzzing right by them. Thank goodness they were wearing those vests.

Bethany did really well yesterday, although she would not let us remove her shoes or clothes. She was sooo hot at bedtime, but still would not let us remove some of the many layers she was wearing. At bedtime, everything hit her, and she cried the saddest tears I've ever heard (mom cried too!). We calmed her down after awhile, and she laid awake in bed for quite some time. Finally, sleep came, and she slept soundly the entire night. We still couldn't get her to remove any clothes in the morning, so we kept her in them (although after a very sweaty night, she was starting to smell!). We went and finished the legalities required so that we can now legally say she is our daughter - Bethany Hua Mei Hay. We were able to talk with the orphanage director again and exchange gifts and email addresses. The director, the one who Bethany calls "aiyee" (auntie) talked to her about changing her clothes when we brought her back home. When we parted with the director, her auntie for the last time, Bethany waved bye-bye, we all hugged (mom cried again!-dad almost did too... shh!) and that was it. Bethany whined for about 2 seconds and then stopped. Since then, she's been jabbering and laughing and joking around with us. It's really special!! She also came right into the hotel room and began taking her clothes off, picking out one of the shirts I had laid out for her. The shirt says "good things come in small packages" and that couldn't be any more true in this case!! Thank you, God! :)

We have a beautiful daughter - Praise God!!

2009-01-12T05:37:00.006-06:00

Princess Bethany Hay arrives!

Well, today was the big day, and wow...what a sweet little blessing that has entered our life!! She has done very well with the adjustment so far. We were immensely blessed to have met the head nanny as well as the orphanage director that she knew before she went to her foster family. They were very helpful in providing information and also gave us two memory books that have been put together with alot of love and care. It includes pictures from before Bethany had her first surgery. We learned alot from them and can tell she was well-loved and cared for before coming to us. She came with the clothes on her back (which we can't get her to take off yet!) and that was it materially, but she came with a good foundation on love in which we can build on.

The orphanage director who Bethany calls wayaya when she sees her picture.

After she left there was an initial moment where Bethany wondered where the familiar faces went. We distracted her momentarily but eventually followed her to the hallway. She looked and and seemed to wonder where she went but no tears. Later after we returned to the hotel and showed her some toys and books, had a snack and played a bit Bethany got very sad and teared up a bit. She seemed to realize something big was going on. I can't even imagine what she's thinking right now. She is happy and chatty now but I'm sure that we'll have more of those sad moments as her world changes.

This pictures includes Glenn (our guide, the director and head nanny from the orphanage).

Within the memory books that were provided she took great interest in pointing out faces and saying names of those within the pictures. We are thankful that our prayers have been answered long before they were even prayed that she was taken care of and loved by those she was entrusted with until we could bring her home.

It's been a long day with much more than we've posted here. We hope that you are all doing well and appreciate your continue prayers as we try to understand our little lady. We hope for a good night's sleep. Tomorrow we have another big day as we do alot of paperwork to get the official adoption process completed.

Blessings on you all,

Dan (& Becky)

Last Day in Beijing and Travel to Nanning

2009-01-11T17:28:00.017-06:00

Hello friends and family,

We miss you all! Yesterday (Sunday) we attended a Christian church that only foreigners can attend. We had to bring a copy of our passport to get into it. As with everywhere we went there were many people bustling into the church service. Although there were people there from many countries they all came together to worship God. It was a blessing to be able to participate in the service. Maybe just a taste of how it will be in heaven someday when all followers come together to glorify God forever. Some thought that they saw someone handing out passports out front and that there were many non-foreigners getting into the service. I certainly hope so... :) It was also nice to see some of the families from the other group that we separated from at the service including the Bjorlins! We had hoped we'd be traveling with them the entire time since they are from Minnesota and we have known them now for two years since starting the adoption process. It turns out our children are from different areas but we do get to connect up with them occassionally.

From there we rushed to lunch for Beijing Roasted Duck. The locals say that you haven't been to Beijing until you've had it. It was good although I've discovered that I have liked the Kung Pao Chicken. It has been at every meal except Breakfast. There are many things that are interesting to try and some that we wish we hadn't. :) Chinese folks tend to eat more of ALL of the animal...

It's been an amazing blessing to experience this journey with other couples/families. After today we are together with one other couple from Seattle Washington until we are reunited with all of the families again towards the end of our journey.

Tianenman Square...

We(the men) have been joking about being GIGANTIC compared to the locals. I guess that the folks in Beijing are taller than those in Nanning where we will be for most of our time...

Forbidden City and the Imperial Palace...it was very cold and windy today, and we were outside for more than 2 hours - Brrrrr! That's why we look so bundled up!

The Emperor's Throne Room

It's hard to tell from the pictures, but we seemed to walk forever through the Forbidden City, which was where the Chinese Emperors lived (and never left). There are 9,999 rooms throughout the place, in several different buildings!!! Some are where official business took place, and some are the actual living quarters where the Emperor and his family resided.

We had a little extra time to go check out the Olympic Water Cube (above) and the Bird's Nest (left). Then we headed for the airport for our 8:15 p.m. flight to Nanning. Three and a half hours later we landed, and then took a 40 minute ride to our hotel. We were ready to go to bed!! We noticed right away the difference between Beijing and Nanning...Nanning is much quieter, simpler and less Westernized. We were a little spoiled at our Beijing hotel, and the guides were a little more hands on. We'll be much more on our own this week, after we meet Bethany later on today. It's a little nervewracking, being in an unfamiliar place with strange food, and a language we have no clue about (far less English speaking Chinese here in Nanning than in Beijing), but I am sure it will be even harder for Bethany!! Please pray for our meeting today...we are more than just a little nervous. :)

We will post pictures later today or early tomorrow of our precious little girl...the pictures you've all been waiting for!

Lots of love,

Dan (author of the first half) and Becky (ending paragraphs) :)

Exhausted!!

2009-01-11T11:24:00.002-06:00

Hi all,

This is just a quick hi...we'll blog more after we sleep. We had a very long day, which ended with a 3.5 hour flight from Beijing to Nanning. We just got checked into our hotel about 1/2 hour ago...it's 1:30 am here right now, so we need to get to bed. Sorry I can't give you more right now...tomorrow we get Bethany in the mid-to-late afternoon, so we'll have time to blog in the morning.

Becky

Full day in Beijing!

2009-01-10T05:46:00.017-06:00

Hello all,

Well, as we are still suffering jet lag, and having had a busy day that started at 5 am (that's when we were up - couldn't sleep!), this post may not be too coherent. So please bear that in mind as you read...

We started our day touring the Summer Palace of the Emperor and Emperess for 1.5 hours this morning. It was a bit cold as we were only on the grounds, so we were outside the whole time. However, we got several beautiful pictures of the ornate architecture and learned a bit about the palace's history.

We found out that Beijing is quite large, and that it takes a long time to get anywhere, as we were on the bus for somewhat extended periods of time. However, it was quite nice, as we were quite tired and enjoyed the "breaks" and our guides, Rosa and Maggie gave us a lot of cultural and historical information about China while on the road. Maggie sang the Chinese national anthem for us, and then she sang the U.S. national anthem in Chinese for us. It was very cool. Dan and I can now tell you all about the Chinese flag and its symbolism...you'll have to quiz us when we return home!

We hit some shopping areas before lunch...visiting a jade factory and a pottery factory as well. You have to negotiate price on everything...fun for those who love to go bargain hunting, but a bit hard when language is difficult and you don't understand the money system! :)

After lunch we went to the Great Wall. It was beautiful and truly amazing. Despite my life-long and fairly severe fear of heights, we managed to get quite high. However, Dan did lose circulation in his hand for awhile - the one I was squeezing onto as we climbed!

After the Wall and some dinner, we are back at the hotel, ready for bed. It's just about time for you all to start waking up and start your Saturday, just as we are ending our day. I miss our boys terribly, but I am thankful we have the opportunity to learn about about our daughter's birth country. Tomorrow after attending the international church service (for foreigners only) and a few other stops, we get on another plane to fly to Guanxi province, so that we can meet Bethany Monday morning.

This woman is making an ornate vase. It's a very intricate, painstaking, and time consuming process. The interesting thing was that she had to work in coat and mittens while she did it. The heat wasn't on in the building. (Dan added this)

This woman was selling hot sweet potatoes right off of her rolling fire pit on the back of her bike. Some very innovative and customized bikes around these parts. (Dan added this)

One thing that struck me today is just how different our country is from this country...the freedom we enjoy is noticeably absent here. The entire mentality of the people here is so different from ours, I think especially because of 2 things: lack of independence because of government control, and the lack of faith in the One who created us in His image. I couldn't help but feel sad from time to time today as I saw and heard things that pointed to the absence of both of those things.

Well, not to ramble on any further, I will wrap this up. Thank you for checking in on us, and for your continued prayer for us as we continue to travel and get closer to the moment that we are united with Bethany.

Becky (and Dan)

Oh yeah - we learned today 2 things about Bethany: she is part of one of the minority nationalities in China, the Zhuang people (90% of China's population is Han), and she is from an area that speaks Cantonese - not Mandarin. So, all of those language books/cds we brought will not help us!! :)

We made it! We are in Beijing!

2009-01-09T06:35:00.005-06:00

We have arrived at our hotel after the longest plane ride we've ever imagined... I didn't know a plane could run that long without running out of fuel. Amazing! We were disappointed prior to boarding our flight in Chicago as we were not able to get seats next to each other for the Beijing flight. Thankfully when we boarded the plane a very nice Chinese gentleman switched seats with me. Even better, the seats we were assigned to were economy plus just a row behind first class. The leg room was phenomenal! I'm very thankful for that! We flew over 6,500 miles today, over 15 hours, over the upper northern hemisphere including Canada, Alaska, Siberia, the Arctic Ocean an a whole bunch of mountains. It was alot of tv, reading, gaming, standing up, walking to the other end of the plane, sitting, stretching, yawning, talking, eating, sleeping, eating, sleeping, eating and so on...

After we successfully landed the airport was amazing! I didn't realize that it is the largest airport terminal in the world. It is something else...

After a long bus ride to the hotel (the driver got lost) we are finally here. Although very tired we found ourselves very hungry so we tried to go downstairs to order some food. Seems that we aren't quite ready to be on our own as we had trouble figuring out prices and menu items. We ended up coming back to our room for Wheat Thins and a snack bar. mmmmmm goood! Guess will have to figure out that stuff in the morning.

Much more to share but very, very tired. Take care and we hope to hear from you while we are here. Please post a note or drop us an email. Just a little bit closer to our little girl. We saw so many littler reminders of her on the plane all around us. Families adopting for the first and second time along with other chinese families traveling home. We're coming Bethany!

More tomorrow as we are going to the Summer Palace (in the winter), the Jade factory and the Great Wall (just a part of it). Hopefully I can learn some more of the language and how to handle my Yuan Renminbi.

Amen! (that wasn't a prayer exactly but it feels like I should say that after today!)

Dan

We're on our way...China, here we come!

2009-01-08T06:37:00.006-06:00

Good morning fellow Americans!

We are off to the airport. The boys and the dog are off staying with family and friends. We were up VERY late trying to pack, unpack, sort, re-sort, remove, add, adjust, coordinate, fold and examine our luggage. Becky also had me vacumming into the wee hours of the morning... After quite a few visits to the TSA and international travel sites we think that we are able to get through to the plane to begin our journey.

We wanted to share a couple of pictures of Bethany's room. At least what has progressed to date. Grandma Hay is finishing up a quilt for her bed.

Do we look tired? Yeah? Perfect! Hopefuly that will help with the 15 hour plane ride!
:)
Well, with that, we are off. The next post will hopefully be when we are on the ground in Beijing. Thank you for your continued prayers and encouragement!

Dan

adoption, china

2009-01-07T21:14:00.004-06:00

Well, I did what was one of the hardest things in my life earlier today. I left my boys, and won't see them for 15 days!! Of course I was very emotional, but I got through it and now I can focus my attention on the trip tomorrow. Oh, I'm sure I'll have some tears from time to time throughout our trip about missing them, but I know they'll be well taken care of and will have lots of fun. The issue is with me, and with my maternal need to "control" what happens in their lives, to protect them from all hurt and harm, and to meet their every need. Yes, God isn't finished with me yet...especially in this area of "letting go." Well, hopefully I've made one small step in the right direction by going to China and leaving them completely in His loving hands.

So now we are going to be up most of tonight, packing, emailing, finalizing, praying, and who knows what else! Hopefully we will be tired enough tomorrow that we can sleep a large chunk of the almost 14 hours from Chicago to Beijing!!

Thanks again for all of the prayers and words of encouragement you have left us on email, facebook, and voicemail. It really puts this control-freak, worst-case-scenario mom's heart at rest knowing we are being uplifted in prayer by so many people. We are so blessed.

Becky

Travel Preparation and Thank you!

2009-01-05T23:08:00.006-06:00

Hi all,

Well, I got through our 1+ hour conference call with all of the travel info from our agency today. Phew!! We are 1 of 21 families with our agency traveling on the 8th!! Yes, I typed 21!! Many of us have older children (older than infant) and children with special needs, and we are coming from all over the U.S. How exciting to travel with such a big group!! We also got our itinerary (and paid our hefty "in-country package" bill!) and found out that our "Gotcha Day" is Monday, January 12th. So, you can pray extra hard that day for Bethany as she meets her parents!

I wanted to take a minute to just share my thanks to everyone that has been a part of this road with us...there have been SO MANY of you praying for us, donating to our "bring Bethany home" fund, encouraging us, etc. And many now are set up to help us with logistical issues while we are away - taking care of our kids, transporting them to and from activities, watching our house, boarding our dog, shoveling our walk, taking us to and from the airport, covering our duties at work while we are away...the list goes on and on!! It is truly amazing how God has worked all things together to get this beautiful little girl home. Wow. Our God is an awesome God, and we are humbled by His love for us and for Bethany.

Again, thanks to all of you. You are forever a part of Bethany's life and ours. We love you!

Becky

6 more days...gotta get packing!

2009-01-02T16:12:00.005-06:00

Well, I am procrastinating the packing ordeal. I have a collection of "stuff" spread out across Bethany's room, but there is no sense of order or completeness to it yet. The hard part is having everything we need/want with us, but "packing light" as is recommended at the same time. Fifteen days is a long time to be gone!! Monday is our travel conference call, so hopefully we will get a lot of direction and inspiration then.

I am struggling with the emotional issue of leaving my 3 boys behind as our departure date draws close. "Aren't you so excited?!" is the common question I get these days, and I am, but I am also very anxious and a little sad that I will be away from my 3 little princes at the same time. I think the anticipation of this whole overwhelming experience is messing with my mind and my emotions. I keep meditating on Joshua 1:9, Philippians 4:6-7, and 1 Peter 5:8 when the worrisome thoughts take over. Hopefully those thoughts will all melt away when our plane leaves the ground next Thursday.

Oh yeah...Happy New Year!

Becky

Soon...

2008-12-30T20:51:00.015-06:00

Just a few more days until we leave on the biggest journey of our lives to do something that at one time we never imagined we would do.

Here's a picture of Bethany's birthday cake from our celebration on December 11th. Wish she could have been here already but for sure next year!

On Monday we purchased our plane tickets after hearing back from our adoption agency regarding the final itinerary. Last night we began evaluating how much stuff we are actually going to bring with us. Many have told us to pack light and that there is a charge for overweight luggage. That seems to be difficult to do as we get ready for the longest trip we've ever been on the farthest away from almost everything we know. In the coming days we will be on a conference call to learn what to expect on the journey and ask questions, continue packing, finalize arrangements for the kids, wrap up last minute things at work, buy a mattress and finalizing details for Bethany's room and much more.

We are so thankful that we continue to have friends and family that surprise us continually with support to help make this all work out. God has blessed us immensely! Please pray for help with our finances as the cost of the plane tickets and in-country expenses have gone up recently and calm and courage over the next few days for both of us if you can.

Let us know how you are doing and keep touch with us while we are in China right here! We will try to post daily.

Finally, here is a short video of us just playing UNO. Imagine how this picture is going to change with our little girl... This is going to be fun!

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."

We're headed for China!!

2008-12-19T13:28:00.003-06:00

Hello! We got our T.A. (travel approval) call today! Of course the agency had trouble getting a hold of us...just like the day we got the referral! Dan was out running errands with Toby and Becky was helping at Trent's Snowman Party (you can't say Christmas you know!) at school. Anyway, it looks like we are leaving January 8th and returning sometime around the 22nd. We were hoping for a few days sooner, since the kids go back to school on the 20th, and we wanted them to have a few days home with us when we returned, but we might just pull them out for a few days anyway. So, now we have a few weeks to get packed and geared up for an amazing couple of weeks! More later...thanks for your prayers and encouragement along this journey! The end is in sight!!

One more quick note...please pray for our safe travels to and from China and for the emotional separation for us and our 3 boys while we are apart. I (Becky) have never been away from the boys for more than 1-2 nights, and even with all the excitement of getting Bethany, am dreading being away from my boys that long. Of the boys, I am most concerned about Matthew, who will probably have the hardest time having mom and dad gone. Thanks.

Have a great day! We are!! :)

Dan, Becky, Matthew, Trent and Toby

Still waiting...

2008-12-16T22:27:00.003-06:00

Sorry we are not being too faithful on posting regularly yet. It's mostly because there is nothing new to report, unfortunately. I'm a bit grumpy about it, because I feel our expectations were raised when we were told we "could be gone by Christmas" a month ago! Well, it's not likely at this point, and that is ok, because we would like to spend Christmas with our boys. However, it would be nice to get a phone call saying that we are leaving the day after Christmas!! :)

Since it was Bethany's birthday last week, I thought it would be perfect to get our travel approval call; it didn't happen, but I remained optimistic, thinking we would get the call yesterday, on Dan's birthday. Well, that didn't happen either, so now I'm going to hope it comes tomorrow...and then the next day...and then the next. Get the picture?? :)

I don't know how people who are waiting for their first child deal with this waiting thing. We are so blessed to have 3 boys that keep us plenty busy, and I still am getting impatient! Of course, most of you know, that is just in my nature to be impatient!! :)

Well enough rambling and smiley faces from me tonight. God is in control. He has been throughout this entire process. Instead of just saying it, I need to act as though I believe it to be true. Then I can do away with these negative and crabby attitudes. Stay tuned...

Becky

Bethany's birthday is this week.

2008-12-07T22:13:00.004-06:00

This week Bethany turns three on this coming Thursday, December 11. This comes with gladness and sadness as we wait for word on when we travel. We are planning to have a celebration as a family. This keeps the boys excited about their sister's arrival as well.

We did finally receive communication from our agency on Thursday providing instruction on how to file for our visas. So that provides a little encouragement that at least we are able to progress forward ever so slightly. We also heard but haven't confirmed that costs may be going up after January 1st so we hope that we are able to move forward before then. This certainly costs enough already! Please pray for us for patience and courage as we prepare for our journey. It would be great to hear from you as well. Drop us a note.

Letter to Bethany:
Bethany,

We wonder, wait, hope and pray for you. We loved you before we even met you. We knew that God had chosen you just as he chose your brothers to be a special part of our family. We can't wait to finally meet you and bring you home.

Love,

Mom, Dad, Matthew, Trent and Toby

More waiting

2008-12-03T23:34:00.002-06:00

Hi,

I am a bit frustrated at the moment. We cannot get communication from our agency regarding our visa application, which we need to get in PRONTO. We could get our T.A. (travel approval) any day.

On a happier note, I received a Chinese baby doll that I ordered in the mail recently. Toby was enthralled by it! He helped me unpackage the doll and proudly raced downstairs to show his dad and brothers. This doll is one of a handful of items I have bought during moments of weakness...

Right before Thanksgiving, we painted a room pink in our house for the first time after more than 14 years of marriage! We also hung the curtains in Bethany's room. Now Dan gets to start sanding and restaining the oak bed frame given to us by our good friends Troy and Chris. Things are shaping up in our girlie's bedroom.

Hopefully I can post some travel dates soon.

By His Grace and For His Glory,
Becky and all the boys (can't say that for too much longer!)

We have our R.A.!! (referral acceptance)

2008-11-13T21:48:00.002-06:00

Well, we got the call from our agency today, telling us they have our R.A. in hand and that it will be overnighted to us for us to receive tomorrow!! WE CAN'T BELIEVE IT! This is really going to happen - and soon! Now for the whirlwind of events and payments! :) We should get our travel approval in the next 2-6 weeks, and then travel 2-4 weeks after that. Our agency said we could conceivably be in China before the end of the year. WOW!! I don't even know what to say. We have so much to do to get things ready for her!! Stay tuned for more...

Just a day...or two...or two hundred.

2008-10-22T21:59:00.002-05:00

Well, Dan has finally convinced me to write on here. It's difficult to do, because I have to live in the reality of "waiting" to type this blog. Normally, I just go through the routine of each day, thinking about Bethany, but not really dwelling on the fact that we are waiting...and that she is waiting - although she doesn't know it. It's only a few months until we go to China and get her...not long if you consider she has been waiting for almost 3 years now. But, each day we miss something...one more hug, one more smile, one more giggle. When I get to thinking about it that way, I get frustrated. WHY does it take so long for China to get these kids "paper-ready" and get them into their forever home? Why must these kids go to bed, night after night without knowing a mommy or a daddy? I realize that I am only just now awaking to this reality that affects so many kids around the world. God created the family, and I know it tears at his heart so much more than mine that these kids don't know FAMILY. We're coming Bethany...just as soon as we can.

I often think about Bethany's possible reaction to us when she meets us for the first time, and then realizes she is coming with us. How traumatic for her it will be!! Can you imagine being ripped from everything you know as a 3 year old? New faces, new language, new foods, new everything! At that age, you are pretty aware of your routine and are pretty comfortable with your life. Gosh, I pray we can get her through it...it will be only God's doing, because I know I am not going to know what to do!

Well, I'm a bit more of a worrier than Dan, as you can tell by my post... sorry about that. :)
Becky

Waiting for Bethany

2008-10-01T21:54:00.002-05:00

We are waiting for Bethany. She is unawaringly waiting for us. We hope that she continues to be well taken care of and as we see other cute, dark haired, adopted girls at our church we are excited for what is to come. We are told that we could get the call any day and all the way up to 6 months from now that we are finalized and ready to travel. Until then we make preparation to get her room and the family ready for her arrival. The boys are doing well, although we have our moments of challenge as all families do. As we prepare for big changes at the Hay household in the coming months we want to share with you some of the many videos that give you an idea of how our appearance as a family will change. This link will also give you a good idea of what our journey to China to bring our Bethany home will look like as well.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv4enMmBAvk

Send us a question, we are interested in what you might wonder about adoption and our family.

Dan & the family

Letter to friends

2008-09-25T22:17:00.003-05:00

Recently we sent this letter to many family and friends to tell about our adoption experience. We hope that where we are in our journey can be something that motivates you to help an orphan or a widow in your world in some way today.

Hello Dear Family and Friends,
Our God is a great and mighty God, and we praise His Name! It is only because of His Grace, His Compassion, and His Divine Plan that we can write to you to announce our happy news that we have a daughter waiting for us in China! Yes, our lives have taken a direction we could not have planned over the past couple years and here briefly is our story:
Jeremiah 29:11 –“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you, and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Adoption was something we joked about when we found out our second son, Trent, was in fact a boy. Becky was “done” having kids, but Dan felt God’s plan for him was to be a daddy to a daughter, so he would tease Becky that they would just have to adopt. Well, exactly two years later, we welcomed a little unexpected blessing into our family – Toby. Toby was a hard pregnancy and delivery for Becky – physically, emotionally, and mentally, but God did an amazing work in her heart. Becky’s vision of her plans for family became a vision of God’s plans for family, and when Toby turned one, she brought up adoption to Dan – seriously, this time.
James 1:27 – Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world. After discussion and prayer, we started researching international adoption agencies and their programs. While Becky looked through information about several countries, Dan steadily maintained that our daughter was in China. We watched countless videos from several agencies, many nights after our 3 boys were in bed, crying tears of sadness and despair for so many children without families, but hopeful and excited for what God was beginning in our lives. We knew God had called us to adopt. So, in November of 2006, we began paperwork with America World Adoption Association in their China adoption program.
After months of paperwork, fees and governmental red tape, we sent our completed dossier to China in May of 2007, and received a log-in date at the China Center of Adoption Affairs of May 29, 2007. Now the real wait began. Although girls are regularly abandoned at various ages in China because of the one-child policy and the strong cultural norm of wanting only boys, the wait time for a healthy referral of a little girl has steadily been climbing since 2005. Currently, the wait time from log-in date to referral date is 31 months, and that timeframe continues to steadily increase. There are various schools of thought as to why this is the case, but in reality, no one knows but China.
A few months into our wait, we decided to put our names on the Special Needs list with our agency, meaning we would consider accepting a referral for a child with medical or emotional needs. We completed a detailed questionnaire regarding what kinds of needs we would consider; this was very awkward for us, since each “category” represented actual children needing families! However, we felt that through prayer and discernment, God was having us follow the plan He had laid out for us.
Psalm 68:5-6 – A father to the fatherless, a defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling. God sets the lonely in families, He leads forth the prisoners with singing…” Well, we unexpectedly got a call on August 16th – actually, several calls, as we were both largely unavailable by phone that day, with news that our agency had a child’s file for us to review. We nervously waited for the email they were sending…and as we opened it, we met our daughter, Wu Hua, born December 11, 2005. Her birthday is an educated guess, because she was abandoned in a public place approximately 2 days after she was born. I cannot express to you in words what it feels like to look at the face of a little child from the other side of the world and think…”this is the child God has chosen for our family.” It is unbelievable. Wu Hua is currently a ward of the Social Welfare Institute of Wuzhou City, China, in the province of Guangxi.
So, we accepted the referral hours later, after consulting a medical doctor as is recommended by our agency to discuss her medical condition. Wu Hua has a repaired cleft lip and an unrepaired cleft palate; she is otherwise healthy. We are now awaiting final approval from China and then will travel to China for 12 days to get her in early 2009. Her name will be Bethany, and we will incorporate her Chinese name into her middle name once we know the translation of it. We chose Bethany early on in this process, because as Jesus found in the town of Bethany a place where he could rest and be among “family,” we hope that in us Bethany can find rest for her soul in our family.
Our adoption process has been one of faith, not knowing the timing or how the finances would work. The whole process will cost a total of about $30,000.00, with medical bills and potentially speech therapy once Bethany gets here. We have already paid out close to $11,000.00 of our savings, but we have a long way to go with not much left. We are confident that as we cover this in prayer that finances will be taken care of – whether through grants, loans, or donations. We are asking that you prayerfully consider whether you are to play a part in God’s plan for our family, and in the life of this precious little girl through donating to our adoption fund. Although it is awkward for us to request donations from family and friends, we are confident God is asking us to humble ourselves by asking for your prayers and financial assistance.
Our church, Berean Baptist, has a foundation set up to disperse grant monies to families who are adopting. If you prefer to give anonymously, you can fill out the enclosed two documents and mail in your donation to Berean, and while they legally cannot guarantee the money will go specifically to us, in all previous circumstances the money donated has gone to the person “recommended” for a grant. Berean will supply you with a receipt for your donation for tax purposes. However, we can accept donations directly for those who like to avoid paperwork. J
Please don’t be offended by our request or feel obligated to give. Your prayers are just as important to us in this process as your dollars. We hope that you will follow along with us on the remainder of our journey on our blog: www.hayfamily6.blogspot.com, especially during our trip to China for the adoption finalization. We do not yet have our dates of travel, but it is estimated that we will go to China to get Bethany sometime between January and March of 2009.
As Christians, we are all adopted into the God’s family, so adoption is close to God’s heart. What a privilege it is for us to have it be a part of our hearts as well. God Bless!

Deciding to Adopt

2008-08-27T20:46:00.000-05:00

Now that we had decided this is what we knew we were supposed to do we took the next step to determine where our child would come from. While we weren't opposed to a domestic adoption our hearts were drawn to the situation in China. There they have a one child policy (at least have had and do have in many areas). As a result of the policy and other cultural norms girls aren't as valued as boys. As a result both girls and boys with deformities or disabilities are either aborted, killed after birth or abandoned. Girls are often abandoned for just being girls. We read a book called the Lost Daughters of China. This book shared one families journey into adoption from China and a perspecitve on why so many girls are unwanted there. We also began to ask our three boys what they thought about the idea of adding a girl to our family. It was challenging for them to grasp the idea that we were going to request the ability to adopt but they wouldn't have a sister for more than a year. This was especially challenging for our younger two boys. We'll tell you more about that in the next post.

Why are we blogging? Why are we adopting?

2008-08-26T21:17:00.000-05:00

We want to share our journey to adopting Bethany and many other details along the way. Hopefully, after this chapter has moved past we will be able to share another exciting way in which God has changed our lives. We continue to be amazed every day at how He has transformed the way that we think about and view the world. It wasn't long ago that we were arguing over when to start having kids and then how many to have. About two years ago Becky and I somehow got onto the subject of adoption and weren't sure why but wanted to learn more. Before you know it we were ordering information packets from adoption agencies and late at night after the kids were in bed sat up and watched the informational videos. There was a particular video that shared one family's experiences throughout their adoption of a Chinese orphan. By the end of the DVD we were both in tears. Unexplainable and uncontrollable tears. I'm embarassed sharing that here but have to admit that I was moved to do something that I'd never imagined doing until that moment. All of the stuff before then was just talk. We both knew at that moment that this is something we were going to do. We didn't know how much it would cost, what circumstances we would face from moving forward but knew that this was what we were supposed to do. I've never been more certain of something God has called me to do in my life. The next post will include our next steps in the process and how the rest of the family responded to the idea. See you then!
--Dan